Page 71 of Blossoms of the Heart
I couldn’t say yes either.
What I needed was a time out.
“I need space.” That was my answer.
She blinked at me. A mixture of bewilderment and frustration was evident on her face.
“Space?” she whispered, voice barely audible.
“Yes.”
I knew it wasn’t the answer she was looking for. She probably hated it, but that was me trying to once again not hurt her.
But that just put me right in limbo.
She got out and rushed out of the car.
* * *
Akiyoshido Cave was what I classed as an explorer’s dream.
I was the first to arrive the next morning.
I got there extra early planning to take advantage of the peaceful environment.
A walk in the woods nearby was perfect for thinking.
It was a good escape from everything.
I learned a lot from being a Marine.
To some extent being one tamed me right down from the out of control rebel I used to be. Being a Marine helped me focus.
I learned that to truly focus you had to separate the details of everything else and concentrate on the situation or problem at hand.
In my scenario the situation at hand was seeing Phoebe again.
Her being back rekindled something in me. Something that I thought was lost.
Something I never expected to feel again. Something I realized now was real and not some crazed fantasy from the past.
At the same time I knew I once loved Candace and we did have a life together. She was right about that and I felt bad that I made her so upset.
Candace begging for more time put me in an awkward position. A situation I didn’t want to be in.
And since I didn’t want to hurt her or have her thinking she was nothing to me I’d do it. Give more time.
I wanted to show that I tried. Her words plagued my mind, that if it were me asking she’d at least show she tried.
I knew she would so here I was doing the same.
I thought I’d take this week to clear my mind. Take my mind back to where it was when Candace first asked me to give her a second chance.
Before Phoebe came to Japan and threw me into a tailspin.
That meant leaving Phoebe alone, and that was going to be hard.
So much had happened in just a few days, but there was clearly something between us. Something we both wanted and the only person standing in the way of that was me.
