Page 15 of I Love You Again
Chapter 5
Trina's mindfelt numb and her body weak. She'd put herself through a lot in the last twodays.
She thought Brad would come back, but hedidn't.
It wasfine.
It was for the best. She didn't want to have any expectations ofhim.
At least she finally had an explanation now about why heleft.
She understood why, and why her father made him promise toleave.
It all made sense, it did. However, it didn't make the pain any less. The explanation, as understandable as it was, did nothing for her pain and made her bitter for all the wrongreasons.
She'd been managing all these years. She got by with her love for her job and even had a few serious relationships, but there was always that hole within her that couldn't heal from losinghim.
Maybe she sabotaged every relationship she had because there was no one like him and no one she'd loved like him. Trina knew he wasn't exactly the best person back then, but she blamed it on his broken home and always believed he would change. Love made her look passed the flaws and try to encourage him to become the person she saw when she looked athim.
Back then she saw the man who was with her last night. That was the version of Brad who she saw, and she wished her father could have seen ittoo.
It was terrible for her to think that. She felt ashamed of herself for the thought because her father had given her everything, and more. He'd practically lived for her to have a better life than he did. Everything he did was for her, and he made it so she was well taken care of for the rest of her life. She just wished he could have given Brad the chance tochange.
Her father said nothing when Brad left. He did nothing and said nothing. He'd always been so attentive to him that she should have realized that something wasn't quite right. But she was too heartbroken tonotice.
Her mind went back to the night she was supposed to meet Brad for their date. Her father watched her get ready for a date that wasn’t going to happen. He watched her as she set out to look for him. He watched her file a missing person’s report for Brad, distressed and completely besides herself with worry that something bad had happened to him. All through that he still kept his silence, with only momentary reassurances that he was sure Brad was fine wherever hewas.
Her father was a great man. The best. But she couldn’t say that she could have done the same to her child if it wereher.
And, as forBrad...
While she understood, she couldn't help but wished he'd stayed and fought for her. What if her dad was testing him? Or, even if he wasn't, wouldn't it have had more value for him to stay and show him that he couldchange?
What was worse was while they were deciding what was best for her no one considered what she might want. No one thought about heropinion.
The last eleven years for her weren't spent happy. If anyone was to ask her if she was truly happy, and if she had the happiness her dad and Brad thought they were giving her, she would sayno.
She didn't have that kind of happiness in her life, and that came from having a father who didn't tell her he was dying, who didn't give her a heads up that there was a chance she find her beloved father dead on his bed holding a picture of her and her mother. Trina didn't have that happiness because of the years of feeling rejected and abandoned by the man sheloved.
To summarize, her father had taken all matters into his own hands, didn't tell her he was dying, sent Brad away, and Brad didn't fight to stay withher.
She shook her head at the thought. It was a complete mess. But, it didn't matter now. She couldn’t allow itto.
None of it. But one thing was certain, and that was that she couldn't stay here. Trina couldn't be here anymore, and she couldn't be Jennifer's maid ofhonor.
It was quite late, but Jennifer hung back when everyone left. Trina told them all whathappened.
Jennifer sat next to Trina on the bed waiting for her to express her true feelings. They were great friends with Mandy and Lizzie, and as a group they got on well. However, together they shared a very special friendship. Jennifer was her best friend, she was like family toher.
"Do you need anything else?" Jennifer asked, concerned filled hereyes.
"I'm okay." She wasn't, but she thought she'd still sayit.
The girls had all done their part to take care of her. While Lizzie gave her a shoulder massage, Mandy did her nails, and Jenifer made sure she was fed and not suffering from the intoxicating effects of the alcohol. She had a hangover but felt sleeping had minimized the effectssomewhat.
Trina looked towards the door as there was a little sound on the other side. She got her hopes up that it could be Brad. However, her hopes were swiftly extinguished when she realized the noise must have come from the room adjacent tohers.
When she looked back to Jennifer, Trina saw that she was already looking at her. A soft smile brightened herface.
