Page 16 of I Love You Again
"You know you could go see him," shesuggested.
Trina shook her head. "No. Ican't."
"I'm still stuck on the fact that you guys know each other." Jennifer sighed and shuffled around on the bed so she was facingher.
"Yeah, small world right?" She offered a littlesmile.
“We’ve known him for years. You never told me about Brad. It seems like he meant a lot to you.” She inclined her head and continued to look at Trina. “I know Mandy can be Mandy and Lizzie has that over the top way about her. But us, we're a little different asfriends."
Trina could see that Jennifer was hurt that she wasn'ttold.
"Mostly, I just tried to forget Brad. I was going through a lot when I first met you. First I had to deal with losing Brad and gear myself up to start at Stanford. Then I lost my dad. I really needed Brad then, and he wasn't there. I didn't have anyone I was close to, and everything was awful." She was cryingagain.
Jennifer reached across and covered Trina’s hands withhers.
"At least now you know thetruth."
Trina shook her head. "And I hate it. The truth doesn't make me feel better. They both wanted my happiness, but I'm not happy. You've seen me all these years. Do I look happy toyou?"
Jennifer's shoulders slumped, and she pursed her lips together. "When you have success you look happy then. But that's a different sort of happiness. It's not personal. So my answer is no," Jennifer replied, her voice low and thoughtful. "What are you thinkingTrina?"
"I wish my dad didn't send Brad away. And, I wish that Brad stayed and showed him he couldchange."
"Trina, your dad was dying, and he could only see how life was at that point. I think he wanted to be sure he did everything he could to ensure you had a good life. I think that was all itwas."
"Yes, but what aboutBrad?"
"Maybe he was doing what he was told," Jenniferoffered.
It felt like there was something missing. She understood what happened, but...there was something that didn't quite add up, and the more she thought about it, the more it stared her in theface.
But she was too weak to find out what it was. Like she said, it didn't matternow.
"Jennifer," Trina held her friend's gaze. "I... can't stay here. I can't be here for the wedding, and I can't be your maid ofhonor."
At that, a tear ran down Jennifer's cheek, and Trina felt terrible. "Please, don't saythat."
Trina shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I think I'll go home tomorrow but how about a good lunch with the girls first, and we could go shopping like weplanned."
"Lunch and shopping?" Jennifer sighed. "Please don't side track me with talk of lunch and shopping. No one can fill your shoes Trina. The others understand that, that's why no one protested when I picked you to be my maid of honor. It was a given. You can't leave. The wedding is over two weeks away. I know you feel emotional now, and all this has happened to you, but I needyou."
Trina felt bad right now. She felt fragile, and her mind was so congested she couldn't possibly begin to free it from the tension that strained it. It was on the tip of her tongue to insist on the need for her to leave but Jennifercontinued.
"Why don't you decide tomorrow? We could still do lunch with the girls and go shopping. Then you could decide if you want tostay."
It was her eyes. Trina looked into Jennifer's eyes and found it difficult to sayno.
"Okay. I'll see how I feel," Trinaanswered.
