Page 32 of My Sweetest Obsession
A baby…
Drew’s son or daughter…
My gaze drifts over every detail of it—the delicate little hand and fingers already visible. The tiny foot sticking up. The face in profile…
A sob catches in my throat, my hand shaking so badly I’m worried I might not be able to maintain my grip on the photo.
“I didn’t even know if I could ever get pregnant…”
Her voice cracks, and I swallow thickly and glance up at Ivy.
Tears stream continuously down her cheeks now, her lips trembling along with the rest of her. “I have never had a regular cycle due to cysts on my ovaries. I’ve had some surgically removed before, and every time they take some off, it causes more scar tissue that can cause fertility issues.”
Those tiny scars I saw along her abdomen, that I so meticulously painted as part of her flash through my head, the memory of kissing them and exploring every inch of her naked body heating my skin even as my mind continues to spin and try to fully absorb everything she’s telling me.
“Drew knew, of course…” She inhales deeply, still twisting the blanket. “We wanted a family. We didn’t want to wait until after the wedding to try since we knew it could end up being difficult.” Her gaze cuts to mine. “We’d been trying to get pregnant for six months before he died, and it just wasn’t happening. We knew it might be impossible, assumed it was after that long, and had kind of resigned ourselves to the fact that we might have to use a surrogate or adopt, but—” More tears trickle down her cheeks, and I have to fight the urge to reach out and wipe them away. She releases another laugh that has no humor in it. “But apparently, I could get pregnant the old-fashioned way, just with really, really shitty timing?—”
A sob slips from her lips, and it is so filled with anguish that it sucks all the air from the room.
This is all my fault…
It falls one hundred percent on me.
Drew isn’t here for this.
He isn’t here for her and their child.
He won’t see this first photo.
He won’t be able to feel his baby kick.
He won’t hold Ivy’s hand while she gives birth.
He won’t snuggle his son or daughter in his arms and know what that kind of love feels like.
He will miss first steps and first words.
He will miss everything.
All because I wanted what wasn’t mine more than I wanted to do what was right.
Agony tears through me, the pain so intense it feels as if I’m being ripped apart. Starting in my chest and spreading outward. Searing. Burning. Stinging. My entire body shakes so badly that I have to grip the arm of the chair with my free hand to keep myself from crumpling to the floor.
Ivy sniffles, unsuccessfully fighting her tears as my own blur my vision of her. “I just…thought you should know…”
“I-I…”
Anything I try to say gets stuck in my throat, and as my gaze drifts from Ivy back to the photo of Drew’s baby, I can’t breathe.
“Cam?”
I lift my head to meet her worried eyes.
Ivy frowns, her brows furrowing. “I don’t want you to think I’m telling you because this changes anything…” Her lips press together firmly, as if she’s fighting to stop herself from saying something. “I’m just so fucking angry.” She sobs, slapping her hand over her mouth as tears flow freely again. “I hate you so damn much for everything you caused, and now this…”
It’s too much.
Too much pain.
