Page 147 of Blood & Snow
There is no pride in what I've done.
The bodies pile up behind me, faceless and forgotten, and all I feel is the hollow ache that's lived in my chest since the last time I heard her voice.
"The Sokolov Brotherhood is finished," Leonid continues.
He turns to me briefly and peeks his eyebrows, then returns to scowling at the glass.
"A few rats remain, but rats are easy to kill. You've proven your loyalty. Your position is secure."
I should feel relief or satisfaction.
The deadline that has ruled my life for weeks is nearly met and the threat of death is past.
With so few men left to track down I can say I've won this round with the Devil.
But victory tastes bitter.
What man could give his very soul in exchange for his life?
But that's what I've done.
My heart beats her fucking name whether I want it to or not, and I'm a coward for not just saying that to her.
Now I risk losing the only thing in this life that's ever made me feel something—really feel.
My hand presses against my jacket pocket where my phone rests.
I tried calling her before I came up here, but itwent to voicemail.
She's ignoring me, probably pissed that I'm not there watching her.
But how could I force myself to be so close to her knowing she wants to run away from me?
"You're quiet," Leonid observes.
He turns to face me fully and scrutinizes my expression.
"Is there a problem?"
I meet his eyes. "No, sir."
He studies me for a long moment.
His expression reveals nothing, but I know he sees more than I want him to.
Leonid did not become the boss by missing details.
He notices the tension in my shoulders, the way my jaw tightens.
"You've been distracted," he says.
It is not a question either, because he's seen the distraction first hand.
It doesn't mean I can't perform—for now—but it's a sign that my effectiveness may be compromised in the future.
"I am focused on finishing the job," I reply.
"Good."
