Page 124 of Blood & Snow
I know he's hunting men down to eliminate a criminal organization but this man is just a shop owner.
"No, the man I was hunting broke in. I followed. This is what happened. I just need you to erase my presence here. Let the inspectors find the bastard and put him away."
Xander's scowl demonstrates his frustration with how things went and all I can do is picture the way he shoved that knife into the courier's ribcage so easily.
"Xan…" I can't speak.
My stomach lurches again, stronger this time.
I press my hand against my mouth, fighting another wave of nausea that has nothing to do with the corpse at my feet.
"What's wrong with you? You don't answer the phone, you show up late, and now you're acting like this is the first time you've seen a dead body."
His eyes twitch with anger, and I notice the way his fists ball up.
"I'm fine," I grumble, and I turn from him.
I want my mind to work, to concentrate on the job and make sure I can erase Xander's presence from this place so there's no evidence, but I can't think straight.
If Irina really pulls back and sends me away so I can't be around her and the kids, I have no family left.
It means I really have chosen Xander over her.
"You're not fine. You're emotional and twitchy, and you'regoing to miss stuff."
Xander touches my arm, as if he's going to grab it and hold me, but I jerk away.
"Enough!" I snap, chest heaving.
"I've had enough, Xander."
I'm angry but I'm feeling cornered and scared.
"Irina is going to take those kids away from me and never let me see them again. They're my family. The only family I have. Don't you see that!"
He stares at me dumbfounded, anger simmering in his eyes.
Had I been one of his men, he'd cut me down, perhaps strike me.
But he only glares at me.
"I can't keep this up. I know what you do, and I'm willing to look past it because whatever the fuck it is that's going on between us feels real. But I can't clean up your messes anymore. I have to do what's right for my family. Clearly you can see that."
Tears brim in my eyes, and I turn away from him, but he sighs and his shoulders drop.
Instead of scolding me or shouting, he pulls out his phone and the screen lights up.
He dials someone's number and lifts the phone to his ear.
"Yeah. Ivan. I got a job. Little bird is caged tonight, but the mess still needs cleaned. Yeah. Corner of Petrovka Street and Teatralny Proyezd. Yeah, right now."
When he hangs up and slides the phone into his pocket, he pulls me against his chest in an embrace so tight I almost can't breathe.
"It's okay,Ptichka. We all have our breaking point…" he says softly, and I'm terrified of what he's doing. This isn't the man I know.
This isn’t the way he acts.
Xander is ruthless and dangerous.
