Page 19 of Let's Talk About Love
“There’s more room down here. Hey. Cat. Bring us a blanket and some pillows.”
Glory blinked at her from where she was stretched out on top of Alice’s phone.
“We should have gotten a dog,” Feenie muttered. “Now where were we? Tell me more about this Takumi fellow. Asian?”
(AWho Framed Roger Rabbitreference never failed to lift Alice’s mood.)
“Japanese,” Alice said. “And I already feel bad about calling you for that. I feel ridiculous as all hell.”
“No, no, no,” she said. “I’ve been waiting for this. I have a plan and it needs sharing.”
When was the last time she’d seen Feenie this excited about something? Her eyes practically sparkled full anime style. It blew so hard that it had been triggered by Alice’s crisis, but a beggar couldn’t be a chooser and she was on her knees—she’d take her Feenie time anyway she could get it.
“Okay. Let’s hear it.”
“I think this is going to provide a perfect opportunity.”
“For?”
“To sleep with him, of course. You need to have sex with him.”
“Feenie.” Alice sighed so deep, her chest hurt. Of all the things shehad expected Feenie to say, that wasn’t it. “I’m really going to need you to stop doing drugs. It’s affecting your cognitive thinking at this point.”
“Hear me out,” Feenie said. “Please?”
Alice exhaled, pressing her lips into a tight line. “I’m listening.”
“If you’re attracted to Takumi, that means sex might be different. Remember how disappointed you were before?”
Every time Feenie brought that up, regret walloped Alice upside the head. After Sam but before Margot, Alice had begun to think thatmaybeshe’d had sex too early andmaybeshe should try it again. The result was a one-night stand with a boy named Louis to see ifmaybeshe had been wrong.
She wasn’t. She had picked him randomly (he had seemed nice enough), they fumbled around for about thirty minutes, he managed to give her an orgasm, and… that was it.
Sex, Alice had decided, was like jogging. All the people in the world could say it’s so amazing and great for you, but if you don’t care about jogging, you’d rather spend your time with a Netflix queue and a box of doughnuts.
Orgasms, Alice had decided, were like stretching after exercising. It felt amazing in the moment, but who really thought about that perfect stretch two hours later? She certainly didn’t.
“I wasnotdisappointed. Some things were just confirmed and I was more affected by it than I thought I would be.” Truth be told, Alice was relieved, but hadn’t figured out how to explain why she felt that way just yet. She didn’t need sex to be sure. She had always known.
“Yeah. There’s a word for that.Disappointment.”
“Anyway,” Alice said, eager to move on. They would never see eye to eye there. “I don’t know if that’s something I’m ready for. After Margot, it feels like there’s no point in me having sex with anyone, not even to make them happy. I just don’t want to do it.”
Feenie’s lip curled. She wasn’t angry—just thinking. “Let me ask you this,” she said finally, “would you want to date him?”
“I don’t know him. I can’t answer that.”
“Yet. You don’t know himyet,” she said. “This happened for a reason. As the love of my life likes to say,The universe is speaking to you.”
“You hate it when Ryan says that.”
“Yes, but we’re not talking about me. There’s something about him that you like without knowing why. I think we should investigate.”
“We?”
“You’ll need my help, of course. First, we have to figure out how to get his attention. We don’t know much about him, so you’ll have to play it by ear for the first week or so. Start off being your usual charming Alice self, report back to me, and we’ll dissect and make a game plan for the next day.”
“And I’m supposed to do that every day?”
