Page 87 of Ripple Effect
I bow my head. It’s answer enough.
“Don’t underestimate the effects of what your love means to that man.”
With sad eyes, I hand the yet unnamed dog to my brother before leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. The tiny thing whimpers and tries to curl up in his strong arms. “The truth would have cost him nothing. But lies seem to have cost him everything. He’s told so many, and I deserved none of them. The worst one is the one he’s told to himself—that I wouldn’t question the words ‘I love you’ that he said over and over.” I start to walk from the room.
“But you’ll keep your promise,” Josh calls out.
I stop in place. “Unlike my husband, I don’t lie. I’ll meet with him when I’m safely home. Even if it’s to wish him the best with his new life.”
I’m halfway up the stairs, intending on finishing packing, when Josh calls from the bottom, “Why are you so determined to walk away?”
“Why are you suddenly on his side?” I snap back, answering his question with one of my own.
“Maybe because I don’t want my sister to be living with regret for the rest of her life.”
“Was it my decision that caused this?” I ask quietly.
“No, of course not.” He looks abashed. “Cal started this.”
I climb down the stairs until we’re eye level with each other. “Yes. And if I can figure out a way to erase the pain of those images, it would be a hell of a lot easier.”
He pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear. “I understand.”
I cup his cheek. “You don’t.” He opens his mouth to protest, but I lay a finger on his lips. “You don’t, Josh, and I hope you never do.”
“Yeah.” His sighed word brushes warm air against my finger, making my nose wrinkle in distaste. “I just wish I could see you smile again.”
“Maybe someday.” Looking down, my eyes get big. “Josh…” I try to warn him, but I’m too late. Cal’s gift has leaked again on his shirt.
Josh curses roundly. “Shit. This is the third one today.”
I can’t prevent the giggle that escapes. Josh’s head snaps up at the sound. “Damn, Libby, if he”—he nods at the puppy, who’s now trying to lick his face—“makes you laugh, maybe I won’t potty train him.”
I shake my head, the first smile in months flirting with my mouth. “You know the deal, brother.” Leaning over, I scratch Cal’s gift under the chin. “I think I’ll call you Darcy,” I croon.
“Darcy?”
“FromPride and Prejudice. He lies to Elizabeth in the book, if you remember.”
Josh opens and closes his mouth. “A more appropriate name could not be given to you, young Darcy.” Leaning forward, he almost crushes the puppy between us. “Safe travels, Libby.”
“It’s just two weeks,” I say gently.
“Two weeks where I’m going to have to deal with Syd bemoaning you not being around. Be careful and come home in one piece, yeah?”
I laugh even as he makes his way to the door. “I’m going to learn a lot about myself,” I remind my older brother.
“Who said you needed to?” He gives me a wink before disappearing.
After the door closes, the house feels strangely empty. I climb upstairs to finish packing. Part of me wants to reach out to Cal to thank him for the gift, but there’s another part of me that can’t. I need to figure out who I am again without being wrapped in both lies and love because both are killing me.
“The effects of this are going to remain with me for a long time,” I say aloud as I close the lid on another suitcase. A quick check of the time makes me realize I should get something to eat. Leaving my bedroom, I meander downstairs to the kitchen to find something to munch on.
Maybe the open sea air will make me hungry.
And I need to do this. If I’m honest, I’ve lived for Cal for so long, I need to know what it’s like to live for me. I need to discover a new love for myself because maybe then I’ll find the strength to go on by myself.
I need to know I’m worth loving and I always was.
