Page 40 of Safe
“Danielle, you don’t need to give affection to be worth something. And you don’t need to trust anyone right now if you don’t want to. Everyone will be here waiting patiently for you when you’re ready; Alex, me, everyone.”
“You?” I asked him, unsure of what he meant.
“Yeah, I mean, what? You think we’re going to leave here and I’m just never going to speak to you again?”
Yes.
“I just…never mind.” I didn’t want to admit that I felt like I carried the burden of ruining everyone’s lives. I didn’t want to shatter whatever perception I was hoping he had of me.
“No, come on. You can trust me.” Cody’s eyes were the kindest I’d ever seen them in that moment, like he meant it with his whole heart and soul, and suddenly, I wasn’t afraid anymore. I was done carrying the burden I had placed on myself.
“Cody, this is all my fault. And I can’t get past that.”
“What’s all your fault?”
“All of this. What happened to me. Ruining my relationship with Alex. Making his job ten times harder. Uprooting you from your life. Tearing you away from your job, your house, your friends. None of this would have happened if I had just said no, even just once.”
“Stop it.” Cody grabbed my hands in his and lowered his gaze to meet mine, but I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eyes. “You did nothing wrong, do you hear me? You were the victim, Danielle. And now, you’re a survivor. Do you get that? None of this… and I mean NONE of it, is your fault. And no one blames you.”
I glanced up at Cody, but before I could say anything, the world spun in a blur and I lost my balance, tumbling into thebusy street. Fear built in my chest as I waited for the inevitable impact.
But instead of cold asphalt, I felt strong arms wrap around me, yanking me backward with force. I felt my body tumble over itself, landing on something warm and solid rather than the cold, hard pavement.
Opening my eyes, I found myself staring at Cody's face just inches from mine. His expression mirrored the terror I felt. His arms were still locked around me, protecting me from anything that would dare harm me, as our bodies melded together on the sidewalk. I couldn't control the violent trembling or the ragged breathing that took over.
Adrenaline consumed me as my mind struggled to process how close I'd come to disaster. Cody's heartbeat hammered against my chest.
It was a good minute before he loosened his grip on me, as if he feared I might slip away if he did.
20. CODY
All I could do was squeeze my eyes shut and pray to God that I’d reached her in time.
There had been very few moments in my life that made me grateful for my military training, and watching Danielle damn near get hit by that car was, without a doubt, one of them.
As soon as I felt the weight of her body pressed against me, I finally let myself breathe. Only then, with Danielle safe in my arms, did I dare open my eyes.
“Hey, hey, you’re okay. Let’s get you home, alright?” I don’t know who was shaking more as the adrenaline settled, but the way she clung to me for those few moments on the sidewalk, my shirt bunched up in her fist, her eyes searching mine for comfort, was all I needed to start breaking down walls.
I helped Danielle to her feet, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as we made our way around the corner to the parking lot. The drive back was short, but the silence between us was loud. That was far too close, especially when it’s my job to keep her safe.
Back at the apartment, I cracked open a beer for each of us and sank onto the couch, trying to steady my nerves. Danielle sat across from me, curling up in the worn armchair. We still hadn’t said a word to each other, but I could tell by the puffy redness around her eyes that she had been hiding the fact that she was crying. There were so many things I wanted to say, but none of them seemed appropriate given the way she had broken down on the walk back to the car. I just wanted her to know she could trust me to keep her safe emotionally, too, not just physically.
It was time to break the silence and tell the truth.
“Riley wasn’t leaving her job when she died.”
Confused, she looked up. “What?”
“Riley wasn’t leaving her job when she got hit by the drunk driver.” The words stung coming out. I had never told anyone this—not even Alex.
Danielle’s eyes searched mine, trying to connect the dots between this and what had transpired this evening.
“Then where was she coming from?”
I hesitated, my chest tightening. “She was cheating on me.”
Danielle’s eyes widened at the revelation, but were soon replaced by a questioning squint, the crease in her brow growing bigger as she tried to decipher how I could still feel the way I did, despite the truth. All the stories I’d told, all the praise I’d sung for Riley, yet I’d never admitted to anyone what she was really doing out so late that night.
