Page 41 of Safe
“I risked my life to give her a good one, and while I was gone, she found someone else. You know the worst part?” I kept going, despite myself. I didn’t even wait for Danielle to respond. “Even after I found out the truth, I blamed myself. And I still loved her. Like a damn fool. I couldn’t help it.”
Danielle sat in silence, her thumbs tracing slow, nervous circles around the edge of her beer can. I hadn’t expected her to say anything. Honestly, I just needed to set the truth free. Maybe then I could let go of the guilt that had been suffocating me for so long.
After a moment, Danielle gave a quiet response.
“Cody, that wasn’t your fault.”
“I left her,” I said, but almost to the point where it was like I was still trying to convince myself that it was my fault.
“No,” Danielle insisted, shaking her head with a quiet finality. “You didn’t leave her; you did what you thought was right. You can’t control what someone else decides to do.”
My eyes fell to the floor. “Exactly.”
She looked at me with a mix of empathy and confusion, searching for what I really meant.
“I’ve never told anyone the truth about Riley’s accident. Do you know why I told you?” I leaned into Danielle, tucking a piece of hair back behind her ear, letting the back of my hand linger on her cheek a little. “Because of what you said to me on the way back to the car. None of what happened to you was your fault. You can’t control Landon’s temper, just like I couldn’t control Riley’s faithfulness.”
Danielle turned away, unable to look me in the eyes. I could tell she was fighting back tears. It was a rare occasion when she’d let herself be that vulnerable in front of me. It was a survival tactic, no doubt, leftover from surviving Landon, that she’d choose to look away, to cry in private, instead of making herself vulnerable.
“Danielle, you are an incredible person. You have to let go of the blame, the same way I need to. Do you know who helped me see that?”
When Danielle’s eyes rose to meet mine, the question came out quiet, under her breath, “Who?”
“You did.” I managed a small, reassuring smile. “Watching you try to move forward, even when it hurts, even when you think you can’t, made me realize I can’t keep living with this weight either. I don’t want to watch you sit here for one second longer blaming yourself for things you couldn’t control. If I can let go, so can you. I promise.”
She didn’t respond. Instead, a single tear slipped down her cheek before she buried her face in her hands. Setting my beer on the end table, I stood up to go out on the deck and gaveher space. I knew I’d touched something deep, and she needed a moment. But before I could leave the room, she stopped me.
“Cody, wait.”
I turned around as Danielle was getting up from the chair. Tears were free-flowing down her face, and by this point, I couldn’t tell if she was angry or upset as she made her way towards me.
“Danielle, I didn’t mean—”
Danielle grabbed my hand and placed it on the small of her back before I could even finish my sentence. Pushing herself closer to me, she rested her head against mine, and I could feel the nervousness in every inch of her body as she tried to breathe through tears.
“Stop talking,” she whispered, “kiss me.”
Those four simple words were all it took for my lips to find hers. This time, everything felt different in ways I couldn’t comprehend.
Every once in a while, something changes, and she was changing me. I wasn’t scared this time, and neither was Danielle. She didn’t hesitate, and I didn’t pull away. In those first seconds, as our lips met, I knew with absolute certainty that she had me, completely. Every part of me belonged to her.
I cradled her face in my palms, my fingers threading through the silk of her hair as our lips stayed locked together, unwilling to leave her lips for even a second. I grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of her head, pushing her closer into me, not knowing if it was too much for Danielle, or if she’d embrace the chance I was taking to let her know she was mine.
Eventually, Danielle pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes, her eyes shining with something I’d never seen before, as if she was giving me full permission. She took my hand in hers and began to lead me toward her bedroom. But as we reached the doorway, I hesitated, stopping just at the threshold.
“Are you sure? Because once I start, I don’t think I can stop myself.”
She turned back, grabbed both my hands in hers, and looked right through my eyes into my soul.
“Please?” She whispered.
There was a moment where neither of us said a word. I questioned if this was going to end with one of us pushing the other off again, and I didn’t know if my heart, or my cock, could handle that again. Before I could answer, Danielle spoke again.
"I’ve spent so long being controlled, and I know you’d never do that to me.” She hesitated, as if she was gathering courage to say what’s really on her mind. “I want to give up control—just a little. Not because I’m afraid for once, but because with you, it feels safe. I need to feel that kind of surrender with someone who sees me. Someone who won’t hurt me."
She let the silence sit for a second.
"I don’t want to be afraid of wanting that anymore."
