Page 39 of Safe
There were no more questions in my mind, no ounce of uncertainty. It was no longer about any physical desire or fear of rejection.
It was her. All of her.
Every good thing, and every broken piece.
I wanted it all. I loved it all.
19. DANIELLE
Back at the house, I spent so long in the bathroom that I began to worry I had put Cody to sleep. I was alternating between re-applying makeup and second-guessing my choice of outfit. Every few minutes, I'd catch myself reaching for my familiar jeans, the comfortable defense I'd grown used to wearing. But something kept pulling me back to that red dress. After one last critical look in the mirror, I emerged from the bathroom.
"What do you think?" The question came out softer than I intended, my nervousness on full display.
Cody's eyes widened, and a slow smile spread across his face. "I think we'd better get out of here before Alex murders me for even looking in your direction right now."
His response eased my anxiety, drawing genuine laughter from me as we headed out the door.
The restaurant he chose had to be the fanciest one in town, with crystal chandeliers and white tablecloths that sparkled. It was more than I thought I deserved for such a simple accomplishment, but Cody insisted. I think we were both just tired of home-cooked meals and fast food. God knows both of us deserved something good.
“Reservation for Morgan,” Cody smiled at the hostess. “Any chance there’s a corner booth available? Something that faces the door?”
The hostess gave Cody a knowing look as the corners of her mouth curled up into a gentle smile. “Of course. Military or police?” She chuckled.
Cody laughed in return. “That obvious? Military. Thanks for accommodating.”
We lingered over cocktails that tasted as good as they looked and dishes almost too pretty to touch, the kind you couldn’t help but take your time savoring. The laughter and conversation that flowed between us was effortless, like the wine filling our glasses. We shared stories about Alex's childhood antics, and I found myself opening up about life before Landon had darkened it. I told him about the dreams I had for my future, the career I gave up, everything. Cody had us both laughing with tales of his misspent youth, each story making the setting feel more intimate, more ours. Surrounded by soft lighting and the gentle clink of fine china, I felt like no one was there except me and him.
As we made our way from the restaurant toward the car, each step felt like a small victory. There was no cane, no hesitation, just the natural feeling of walking alongside someone who made me feel safe. I wasn't thinking about looking over my shoulder or analyzing every shadow. The weight of constant vigilance had faded, if only for a few precious hours.
The night gave me the normalcy I didn’t realize I'd been missing. Just being able to walk in heels with conviction, to laugh without restraint, to enjoy a meal without fear, were simple pleasures that most people took for granted. They felt like miracles to me now. Even though I knew the night terrors would still come after the night had ended, even though danger still lurked somewhere in the world beyond this evening, I allowed myself to fully inhabit this moment of peace.
My reflection in the store windows we passed showed a woman smiling, standing tall, looking ahead rather than behind. It was a glimpse of who I used to be, or maybe, it was who I could become. I wasn't a victim or a survivor, I was just a womanenjoying dinner with someone who made me laugh. And that felt like the most extraordinary gift of all.
“Hey Cody?”
“What’s up?”
“About that kiss.”
He stopped, facing me and placing his hands steady on my shoulders in reassurance. “Hey, we said it never happened, remember?”
“No, it’s been bothering me for a while. I need to get this off my chest.”
Cody looked surprised. “Oh, okay.”
“Landon made me feel really worthless. For a really long time. And I guess I just had a moment of weakness.” For some reason, I couldn’t look him in the eyes.
“Weakness?”
“I just wanted to feel wanted for a moment, I guess. But once I kissed you and I realized you were going to kiss me back, I got so scared, and I felt like I was taking advantage of the situation. And then you pushed me away, and I thought I had fucked things up.”
Cody cut me off before I could finish my thoughts, “I told you that had nothing to do with you.”
“Cody, you say that, and in my head, I believe you, but in my heart… I’m so broken. Like, my body is healed, but I don’t know if I can ever get past what happened. What if I can’t ever trust someone again?”
That was it. The perfection of the night had ended, and the anxiety crept back in with short, shallow breaths and shaking hands.
Cody walked beside me, his footsteps matching mine, but his usual easy conversation had disappeared. He wasn’t saying a word, but I could almost hear him thinking, processing what I'd said, and I worried. The last thing I wanted was toburden him with guilt. He'd already given me so much more than he realized.
