Page 109 of In For a Penny
“Camila thinks I’m ready,” I say, staring into my glass, swishing its contents around a little.
“Doyouthink you’re ready?” Simón asks carefully.
“Iwantto be. Yeah. Maybe I am?” I smile. “Maybe not ready to have sex yet, though.”
“Gross,” Simón says, grimacing. “Please don’t say the word sex.”
I laugh at how squeamish my brother is. It’s so easy to rile him up.
“Sex, sex, sex, sex,” I laugh, and he covers his ears with his hands, mouth twisting as if in pain. “Dude, relax!” I say, pulling on his arms.
“You’re disgusting,” he says.
“Thanks,” I chuckle.
Simón checks his watch. “It’s almost midnight. I’m gonna go find Mom. Come with me? I don’t want you ringing in the New Year all depressed in a dark corner.”
“I’m not depressed, nor will I ring it in in a dark corner. I’ll meet you on the balcony. I just need to hit the ladies’ room real quick.”
He nods and walks away to where my parents and their guests are congregated to better view the fireworks once the clock strikes midnight. We’re on the Upper East Side, so we won’t really be able to see anything, but my parents have a tradition of making all their guests tie New Year’s resolutions onto balloons and then releasing them at midnight. It’s sweet and a tradition I actually enjoy, so I really don’t want to miss it, but I want to catch Josh before the ball drops.
I sneak into my bedroom and shut the door behind me, opening his message.
Josh: Hey. Long time no speak. Happy New Year. Hope you’re ringing it in with friends and family.
Me: Big party at home and kinda tipsy. HNY to you as well.
His reply is immediate.
Josh: I know you’re 3 hours ahead, but no spoilers, ok?
I snort and bite my lip as I reply, nervous. What I told Simón is true. I think Iamready to try things out with Josh for real this time. I just need to find out whether he’s still where he was at a month ago. He hasn’t said ‘I love you’ since then, and neither have I. But I want this, and I think I want to lay the groundwork before I see him again in a couple of days.
Me: LOL. Ok, I promise not to reveal anything.
Me: I have to go back to this party, but just wanted to say hi, wish you HNY, and say that I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon.
I can see he’s typing and deleting a message over and over again from the three dots that keep appearing and disappearing on the screen. I hear someone call my name—my mother—and I run out of my bedroom. Two minutes to midnight! Maybe Josh’s message got delayed due to congested lines.
I’m standing between my mother and Simón when I see the three dots stop completely.
“Ten, nine, eight…” the collective countdown begins.
He’s not gonna reply back?
“…seven, six, five…”
Fuck it.
I need to stop being scared of everything and live life.
“…four, three, two…”
Me: Let’s do this. Let’s go on a date when we get back.
“…one! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
I smile and hug my parents first, followed by my brother, when I feel my phone vibrate. I smile, wanting to jump in place just from how giddy I feel right now.
I’m finally going on a date with Josh.
Simón looks at me inquisitively, and I point at my phone, ready to show him Josh’s response.
But it’s not from Josh…
Austin: HNY, baby. I miss you. Can we talk?
What?
