Page 110 of In For a Penny
I’m so nervous my handsare shaking. I squeeze them together, hoping to control the tremor, but it’s useless. I’m a mess. To be honest, at this point I’m surprised my whole body isn’t convulsing.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, since I’ve seen those eyes, since I’ve been held by him…
My stomach churns from the nerves.
God, what am I even going to say when I see him? Just, “Hi”? How anticlimactic. I’ve waited for this moment for so long, a simple greeting just doesn’t sound right. How are you supposed to greet someone you’ve had feelings for after not seeing them for a while? Will it be weird?
Of course it will be weird, you idiot. It’s not just any old date.
I pull a dress from my closet, hold it up to my body, and groan loudly in frustration at my reflection. Just like the other millions of outfits I’ve pulled since this afternoon, I hate it immediately and throw it over my shoulder.
“I have nothing to wear!” I stomp my foot like a two-year-old brat and whine to no one in particular.
I pick up my phone and FaceTime Simón. Thankfully, my brother picks up after the first ring.
“What?” he asks, bored.
“I’m freaking the fuck out here,” I say, a second away from hyperventilating. “This can change everything. Like, what am I evendoing?”
Simón snorts. “You’re being a bit dramatic here, don’t you think? I mean, youchosethe guy. Just remember why you picked him. It’s make-or-break time, kid,” he says, taking a bite out of a sandwich, looking as casual as can be.
How does he not understand how important this dinner is tonight?
“Is that…is that a PB and J sandwich? Seriously?” I ask.
“Yeah, Mom made it for me. You jealous?” he asks with a smirk. Here I am, prepping for the most important date of my life (okay, I’m being a bit dramatic) and he’s just relaxing, eating a sandwich.
“Not particularly at this moment, no. But if you ask me tomorrow, I might be. It’s so hard to find peanut butter here.” I sigh, appreciating the momentary distraction.
“I’m so nervous, bro.”
“Relax,” he says, annoyed. “Just be thankful you’re not going out with that asshole who texted you on New Year’s. Congrats, by the way. I’m so happy for how you handled the whole situation with Austin.”
I snort derisively. It honestly had been much easier than I thought. In the past, I imagined that if Austin ever reached out, it would affect me to the bone. That it would leave me shaken, rattled, unstable. That it would derail all the personal growth I experienced over the past few months.
When I received his text, though, I felt…nothing.
No. That’s a lie. I feltcuriosity.
Why was he reaching out now? What had happened to Claire? Who the hell did he think he was?
I felt a few things, but none of it fell under or near love—or hatred, for that matter.
I felt nothing but curiosity.
“Yeah, that was a trip,” I say with a laugh. “Thanks, by the way. I owe you and Alejandro one.”
Austin had wanted to meet up to discuss our relationship, he said. He wanted to talk about getting back together and giving it a second chance—even if it was going to be long-distance. I had ignored his texts all night until he showed up at my parents’ door at two in the morning, completely hammered.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked him as he stumbled out of the elevator and into my parents’ party. I took him by the arm and dragged him into a corner, away from prying eyes. I didn’t want him to make a drunken scene in front of everyone.
“I need to talk to you. I think I fucked up,” he practically moaned, looking positively miserable. His hair was a mess, his face unshaven, and there were bags under his eyes. He was wearing a tux, but his shirt was untucked, his shoes and pants covered in mud, and there was a tear in his jacket.
What the hell?
“No,” I said. “It’s fine. You did what you had to do, and now it’s time for you to go.” I tried dragging him by his overcoat, but he slipped out of it and away from me. I groaned.
“No. I don’t want to go. We need to talk. I need to explain myself.” He fisted his hand and shook it in the air.
