Page 193 of The Casualty of Us
HAYES - DECEMBER 2013
I wakewith a jolt at the sound of a quiet pop, immediately breathing deep and smelling nothing but pomegranates as something tickles my nose. My eyes open just enough to see the brown waves falling around the arch of the neck I have my face buried in. One of my arms is wrapped around her waist, and I have a crick in my neck from the way I’m pretty much half rolled on top of her. Not that I care in the least.
I’m already thinking of ways to make her smile today.
Because even with still being on the floor with her, this is by far the best Christmas I’ve ever had, and the day hasn’t even started yet.
Actually everything that’s happened since I got here has been like watching my every hope play out in real time. The freedom I finally have from my mother being the least of it because I realized the other night that I never truly knew love until that moment. That moment of someone giving you every part of themself without any hesitation. Of trusting you so completely, they’re willing to open themselves up in every way. To embrace pain for you even.
To be so completely vulnerable that it feels like you’re holding their soul in your hands instead of their body. Her heartseems to beat right alongside mine now, with my entire world being reordered around it accordingly.
It’s the most humbling thing I’ve ever experienced.
Brought me to my knees in a way nothing else ever has in life.
Not even the first time I managed to string a few wobbly notes together.
Would’ve had me waking up doing some embarrassing shit like picking out baby names in my head if it weren’t for the outright terror that followed on the heels of all those other revelations. The moment when she woke me up in the middle of the night, having figured it out, was the one when I finally realized it. Something I hadn’t accounted for before then. That he understands her just as well as I do.
Somehow he knows she won’t walk away from this either and is betting on that.
Is smart enough to be able to feed her things she can’t put down.
It had me clutching her even tighter with all those realizations roaring viciously, sliding back inside of her without thinking about how she was already going to be sore the next day. Needing to know she was really mine. Defiant in the face of someone else thinking they could take her from me and wanting to claim her so deeply that the rest of the world would never question it again. That we belong to each other.
That maybe somehow the sick fuck would feel it wherever he was and put himself in my path instead of hers. Let me do to him what I still mulled over tracking Thomas down and doing from time to time. The thought of letting anyone else protect her or enact revenge on her behalf flew right out the fucking window the minute she finally said the words I’ve been waiting on.
Then Ollie woke my ass up and told me everything she had been doing for me without even saying anything. Told me what he had seen between her and my mom and where she went after.I’d just sat there for a minute, staring at him with it sinking in, the thing I’d already known but hadn’t voiced until then.
That there would never be anyone else for me—not in this lifetime or any after, because the truth is my belief begins and ends with one girl.
I’d told Ollie as much and then spent the time she’d been shopping looking at rings, figuring she’d probably freak the fuck out if I gave it to her before summer at the earliest. Then I’d spent the time while she napped picking out an entirely different piece of jewelry and brooding. Hating that she lost anything of hers because of me, even if I love her for it too.
Mia had been cool enough to receive the package from the courier yesterday for me though. Passing it over at the start of the night for me to tuck behind the tree while muttering something about me being her pick.
A soft little noise fills my ears then, the unintelligible mumble coming after it making my lips lift with how deeply asleep she still is. It settles something inside of me and has me pressing my lips to her neck with a soft kiss before pulling back. Not truly wanting to wake her up because she needs the sleep but unable to leave her without the contact either. I run my eyes over her face to see her cheeks are red from how I’m probably overheating her, but she doesn’t look too upset about it either.
She’s all cute with her eyes moving beneath her lids, and there’s a peace to her face in sleep that somehow makes her look a little younger. It has me wondering if that’s what she looked like all the time before the kidnapping for a minute. Not liking the idea of it and promising myself that one day soon she’ll be able to walk around without fear again.
I steal another quick kiss before sliding off her, figuring that it’ll give me time to grab some coffee and her other present from where it’s stashed in my bag. The holiday seems to bring out alighter side of her that I love to see and I don’t want anything to mess it up today.
Plus last year was definitely a fucking airball on my part.
A yawn leaves me as I push the door open that leads into the kitchen, the sight of her dad standing behind the island in the early morning light and already dressed for the day stopping me short. Not knowing where to start with my own dad half the time, much less the father of the girl who lights up my world.
His eyes rise to mine from where he’s reading through some papers with a mug in hand. “Morning.”
Fuck.
I run a hand through my hair, quickly clearing my throat and stepping fully into the room. “Morning.” Remembering as the door swings shut behind me, I add, “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” He nods, taking a sip while continuing to hold my gaze and eventually offering, “Want some coffee? Or are you a tea person too?”
“No.” I shake my head quickly, a beat passing before I think to tack on, “Sir.” His face fills with an expression that almost looks like humor, and I nod. “Coffee is great, thanks.”
My brows drop as he turns around, trying for the first time tonotthink about what happened a couple of nights ago with his daughter.
Shit is awkward as hell.
