Page 91 of What If I Hate You
…ok. I won’t tell you.
Bodhi
Harrison
SHE WHAT??
Harrison
BRO!
Harrison
YOU…YOU…YOU HIT THE FINAL LEVEL! YOU UNLOCKED THE BADGE!
Ledger
Holy fucking shit. This man’s not just a goalie. He’s a magician.
Oliver
Adding “Bear made her squirt” to my gratitude journal today.
August
DUDE! You made it RAAAAIN!!
Bodhi
Please confirm if this happened on your mattress or the couch bc I’ve sat on both recently and I’m itchy now.
Griffin
How’s your ego feel, champ? or do you need us to carry you into the rink tomorrow on a throne?
Me
My ego is FINE but I will take the throne and maybe a pizza since we skipped dinner and went straight for dessert.
August
No one squirted for me and now I’m sad. Thanks a lot *Googles how to make Ella squirt*
Ledger
Barrett’s officially the locker room sex god now. Oliver, pass the torch.
Oliver
I never made anyone squirt, but I did once get thanked in three different languages after. Oh, and I totally fucked a woman on her honeymoon and then married her for myself so I’m keeping my title.
Me
You guys are feral. I hate all of you
Griffin
Bullshit. You LOVE us Bear. And also, we love Blakely because of what she’s done to you so pls don’t fuck it up.
