Page 23 of Malliko
“I'm sorry, but what you and Tania has isn’t love in my book. Love makes you crazy. And if I were to be with someone then I would expect for us to at least feel a sting of jealousy.”
“But jealousy destroys relationships,” Malliko argued. “The mature thing would be to allow your partner as many experiences as they desire.”
“Yes, but when you read about people in open relationships, they admit that the feeling of jealousy is there. They don't allow it to infect the relationship or to limit each other, but the fear of losing each other is there.”
“Alright, but then is that the kind of relationship you want? One where you can feel jealousy, but you don't allow it to stop each other from exploring with other people?”
Moving in my seat, I admitted, “That’s a little advanced for me, I think.” Drops of rain started falling on the windows outside and it made me turn my head and change the subject. “Whenever it rains, I feel so grateful for my job at Go2Match. Iused to be a flagger. Sometimes that meant standing eight hours in pouring rain.”
“What's a flagger?”
I waved my right hand as if waving an invisible flag. “A flagger is someone who helps in traffic when people have to pass a construction site. It pays well but offers no mental stimulation whatsoever. At least in my current job I get to study human sexology. It's not as fancy as the degree in psychology that I wanted, but every day I get wiser about people’s hopes, feelings, and desires. It's a lot more fun than working as a flagger.”
“Then why did you do it?”
I gave Malliko a sideways glance. “Obviously, it wasn't my dream job, but it paid the bills and put my ex-husband through law school. Why are you so interested in me anyway?”
“I'm curious in general.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed. Tell you what. I'll let you ask me another question if you answer five of my questions.”
His smile was warm and infectious. “Why do you get five questions if I only get one?”
“Because you already asked me so many intimate questions.”
Leaning back in the booth, Malliko spread out his arms and rested them on the top of the brown leather bench. “Fine. What do you want to know?”
I chewed on my lower lip and looked down because asking the question I wanted the answer to the most felt like asking for rejection. “Why did you offer to come with me to the sex club? Is it your way of trying to sleep with me?”
His answer felt like a bucket of cold water in my face. “No. not at all. I wouldn't touch anyone at the club. Just observe.”
“But you said that you are in an open relationship.”
“Yes. But…” Crossing his arms, Malliko stated, “It's rare for me to feel attracted to anyone.”
Feeling a bit defensive, I was a little snippy in my tone. “Maybe that's because you're used to women of the beauty standard that your fiancée has.” I felt humiliated and was angry at myself for asking a stupid question like that.
“What happened?” Malliko studied me closely. “What's wrong?”
Staring out of the window, I kept my eyes on the street, where droplets of rain bounced off the concrete like happy ballerinas. This conversation reminded me why I wasn’t dating. Men would always be visual and there would always be a younger more beautiful woman to steal him away.
“You still have four more questions,” he said and at that point, I put on a front and asked him questions similar to what he had asked me.
“What is your kink?”
“My kink?”
“Yes. You've been curious about me, so allow me to be curious as well. You don't fit the stereotype of a nerdy academic. You are in an open relationship and you're clearly someone who cares a great deal about your physical appearance. Plus, you want me to come to a sex club. It has me wondering if you're one of those Dom types.”
“What type is that?”
It surprised me that he didn’t know. “Someone who dominates women. Often in a performance at sex clubs.”
Tilting his head slightly to the side, his eyes expanded, and he asked, “That's a thing?”
“Yes, I think so. At least from what I've read and heard.”
“Um. No. That's not something I have experience with, but now you have me even more curious about going to a club with you.”
