Page 22 of Malliko
“Yes, of course we see other people. I see you, that guy at the entrance, and those women at the bar. I see tons of people.”
I found his humor misplaced but dismissed it as cultural differences. “I mean sexually; do you have sex with more than your fiancée?”
Malliko looked strangely confused by my questions. “Oh, uhm... sometimes.”
My eyes widened. “And she's okay with that?”
“Yes, I don't expect her to miss out on anything either.”
This time, I was the one firing questions at him. “Really? What about jealousy?”
Malliko didn’t answer but lifted his hands and made a facial expression that I interpreted as “What do you mean?”
“You don't feel jealous?” I asked him.
“No.”
The way he said it, as if the concept of jealousy was foreign to him, made me eye him with skepticism.
Crooking an eyebrow, he pointed out the obvious. “You don't believe me?”
I turned my glass again not knowing what to think.
“What does that face mean?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
Malliko didn’t let it go. “You think I'm lying, don’t you?”
We were silent for a moment with him looking intently into my eyes.
“Stop looking at me like you want to read my mind. If you say that you're not jealous, then being in an open relationship is no doubt ideal for you.”
“I feel like there’s something you're holding back, Clara.”
With a shrug, I explained, “It's called having a filter.” In my mind I added that he should try it, but I didn’t say that part aloud.
In a sincere tone, Malliko asked, “If you think being in an open relationship is ideal then why don't you do it?”
“Oh no, hang on. I said it's ideal for you because you don't get jealous. For me, it's different. If my partner was with someone else, it would trigger memories from the time my husband was unfaithful. I couldn't.”
The green fabric of his t-shirt stretched across his chest when he leaned forward. “But it wouldn't be infidelity if you agreed to be in an open relationship,” he reasoned.
I shook my head. “I would worry that he liked the other women better. It wouldn't work for me. And to be honest I think it's natural to be jealous.”
“Why?”
“Because...” I looked to the side. “Because if your partner finds someone that they like better you can lose everything. Look, Malliko, I've seen the picture of you and your fiancée. She's drop dead gorgeous. I'm sure she's an acrobat in bed who wakes up looking flawless with a minty breath. But if she sleepswith other men and she encourages you to sleep with other women without feeling the least bit jealous then I don't know if that's...” I inhaled sharply and pushed out the unpleasant truth, “Love.”
“You don't think Tania and I love each other because we don't get jealous?”
I rubbed my forehead. “No, not truly. If you did you would be afraid of losing her, wouldn't you?” As my question lingered in the air, I followed up with a new one. “Are you afraid of losing her?”
Scanning his face, I detected no emotional reaction as he answered. “I can’t say that I am.”
I challenged him. “Have you never been jealous in any of your relationships over the years?”
Malliko thought long and hard. “No, I don’t think so.”
