Page 107 of Tangled Hearts
When we pull up at the house, we all climb silently from the car. We still don’t talk when we go inside. I walk into my room and change clothes. After scrubbing off my makeup in the bathroom, I go straightto Beck and Roman’s room. There’s not a chance in hell that I’m staying by myself tonight.
Beck’s sitting up, his back to the headboard, and Roman’s on the other side with the spot between them open. My heart hurts, but it does warm a little at the fact that they knew I would be here and they left a spot for me.
I dive in between them and burrow my way under the covers. I pull up my text thread with Nic.
Me
I’m here if you need me.
I could probably leave it at that, but I type another one.
Me
I’m sorry I made you run, but please come back to me. Please. Even if it’s the middle of the night, I don’t care. Just come back to me.
I blink down at my phone and hand it to Dad. “Can you put this on your end table?” He nods, taking it from me. I settle under the covers, and they each wrap an arm around me as I snuggle between them. As soon as we’re settled, tears start spilling down my temples and into my hair.
“What happened, kiddo?” Beck asks.
“I don’t really know,” I choke out. “Nic was telling me he was proud of me. And kissing me.” My cheeks heat, but I don’t even care. “And then the uh—thethroat thing.”
Beck hums. “It’s okay, Eli. You’re an adult. You’re allowed to want whatever you want.”
I relax a little. “I know. But I don’t know. It was like… Holden just—he disappeared.” My throat goes tight. “I think he tried to fight it at first. And then he grabbed his throat and said, ‘No’ and ‘It’s not real. It can’t be real,’ and then he started… clawing at it,” I choke out. “He made himself bleed. He was bleeding. He hurt himself.”
I feel Roman stiffen, and when I glance back at him, he’s crying too, shuddering with the force.
“And then Julian… God.” I let out a choked breath before more tears spill from my eyes and sobs rip from my chest. “Holden was screaming no, and Julian wouldn’t stop. He had to—I know that—but what if Holden doesn’t? What if Holden just remembers Julian ignoring him?” My voice breaks. “He was crying and telling him no, and he just wouldn’t quit.”
“Sometimes,” Roman says softly, tears choking his voice. “When you love someone as much as Julian loves Holden, you have to do what’s best for them. Julian would never, ever hurt Holden. You know that, Eli. And Holden does too.”
Beck murmurs his agreement. “Holden was hurting himself. Julian had no choice. He had to take care of him in the only way he knew how. And if I know Julian, he’s just as heartbroken about it as you are.”
“I hit him,” I sob. “I hit Julian. What if he doesn’t love me anymore?”
Beck makes a sad noise in his throat. “He’ll probably love you even more.”
That doesn’t make any fucking sense, but I have to believe it—Ihaveto. My heart won’t survive otherwise. I can’t lose NicandHolden and Julian in the same night. I just can’t.
“In the morning, I’ll go get Nic, okay?” Beck says. “We’ll give him tonight to calm down and collect his thoughts. And tomorrow, I’ll bring him home.”
I nod. “Okay. Thank you.”
We all fall silent, and I let my eyes close. Roman’s arm tightens around me. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to sleep tonight, but at least I’m not alone.
I drift in and out, flashes of horror playing on a loop through my mind.
Holden tearing at his throat.
Nic crying, mouth open, eyes black.
Blood dripping over my fingers as I try to stop Holden from bleeding.
Nic leaving me.
Holden gasping and crying.
Julian ignoring Holden with a sinister smile on his face.
