Page 2 of Ascendent
Sasha said nothing.
“Maybe we could start to go public in two years, after your training? So much could change in two years. What you fear… The world may be different then. Maybe we will have changed it.”
He couldn’t take this, the hope burning through him and Sasha’s silence, his stillness. He cupped Sasha’s other cheek. Brought their faces together. “Are you telling me you want to try this? Us?”
Sasha’s shaking breaths bounced off his lips, his chin.
“We’re stronger together. I’m stronger with you because I love you. You are stronger when you love me, yes?”
Sasha nodded.
“Let us be strong,” Sergey breathed. He inched closer, bringing their bodies almost in touch. He craved Sasha, his touch, his presence. His love. Whatever Sasha wanted, whatever he needed, Sergey would give him. He’d give in, if just for one more chance at loving Sasha. “You will need that strength to be an astronaut.”
“You still want me to go?” Sasha frowned.
“I want you to have everything you ever wanted.”Even if that takes you away from me. His heart screamed, stabbed through the back. If Sasha was happy, though… It would be worth it. It would be, one day.
Sasha’s jaw clenched. “And if I say I only ever wanted two things: to be an astronaut, and to be with you?”
He was dreaming. He was in his bed, alone, in his hotel room. He was going to wake up, like he’d woken up for days and weeks, clinging to empty air and whispering Sasha’s name.
He slid closer. Pressed their bodies together. Sasha’s body was hard, a firm presence. Something real.
This was really happening.
“You can have everything you want, Sasha. You have both in your hands. But… You must be careful. This heart is fragile and already bruised. I cannot take it if you leave again.”
“But NASA—”
“Would you come home every six weeks? After each training module, when you had your breaks? Six weeks there, two weeks home, here? In Moscow?” He swallowed. “With me? Would you come home to me?”
Sasha’s expression fractured. He grabbed Sergey, held on like he was falling and Sergey was the only anchor in the world. “I always came back.”
“You never had to leave. You never had to run.” He brushed his lips over Sasha’s, the barest, briefest kiss. He groaned. Pushed their foreheads together, pressed their cheeks against one another. “Sasha,please.”
He could do no more. He would stay still. He would wait for Sasha to move.To act. To do.Show me what you want. Show me what you need.
Sasha’s lips found his.
He almost sobbed as Sasha kissed him, as he wrapped his arms around Sergey, as they kissed, and kissed, and kissed. As they let time fall away, and rockets blast into orbit, and black holes form and collapse.
“Come home?” Sergey whispered against Sasha’s lips.
Slowly, Sasha nodded.
Chapter One
They tradedkisses for what felt like an age, bodies clinging together, foreheads pressed so hard their skulls started to ache. Noses slid, their breaths ghosting across stubble on cheeks and chins. Sergey tried to smile. Sasha chewed on his bottom lip, the corners of his mouth pulling downward.
“I have to go back to the Kremlin,” Sergey finally whispered. It was past time to leave. His driver was probably chain-smoking cigarettes and pacing outside the hotel. “Come with me.”
He didn’t trust Sasha to follow him later. He’d said he would follow Sergey home before, when they were leaving the Arctic. He’d said he would come the Kremlin, but instead he’d run for the farthest reaches of the Motherland that he could.
Sergey never wanted to feel that aching emptiness again, the bottom of his world falling away as he realized Sasha had left.Again.
Part of him now admonished his own foolish heart, called him an idiot fourteen different ways. Of course this would end with him alone. Of course Sasha would leave, one more time. He was only forestalling the inevitable. Sasha would always leave him. Why restart this agony?
Sasha’s hot breath brushed over his skin, his lips. “I need to pack. Grab my things.”
