Page 88 of Knot Her Cowboys
“Then don’t.”
We both fell silent until I had completed my task, swiping more antiseptic over her skin and helping her back to her feet.
“Cash is going to do everything humanly possible to keep you safe, and I wasn’t lying about being willing to dump Darlene in a gully somewhere. After all the hell she put you through, it’s no more than she deserves. I’ll do the same foranyonewho comes for you.”
“I don’t want to go,” she said again. “I never expected any of this when I came back, but I love Cash, I can see myself loving Dakota and Levi easily, and you… I don’t blame you if you don’t love me anymore, Cooper, but I stayed away because I was scared, not because I stopped loving you. I can’t stay if you hate me, and I understand if I’m not worth a second chance, but…”
Her words were knives carving their way straight through me. “Fuck, Riley, I’ve loved you since the day you walked into kindergarten with your lopsided pigtails, demanding to be best friends because my hand-me-down shirt had faded to your favorite color. I never stopped loving you, not for one fucking second.”
Her mouth on mine was nirvana. Absolute fucking perfection despite the tears tinging the kiss with salt.
My survival instincts screamed that this was very,verystupid, but her lips shut them down in short order. The way her arms locked behind my neck rocketed me back to our last kiss right before she’d left. She’d cried then, too. If I’d known it might’ve been the last time, I’d have never let her go.
I cupped her cheeks, reminding myself she was real, as if the bloom of her sweet lupine scent and the warmth of her pressed against me wasn’t doing enough to convince me.
My growl surprised both of us, Riley gasping into my mouth as I backed her up until she hit the wall, needing the pressure of our bodies together. I craved this woman down to the marrow of my bones. Now that she was in my arms, I wanted to squirrel heraway somewhere and keep her there until she went into heat so I could leave my mark on her throat and claim her as mine.
She’dalwaysbeen mine. And gods willing, she always would be.
But she still left once.
She could again.
I pulled away, planting my hands on the wall beside her head instead of on her skin like I wanted. It didn’t matter how much I craved her or how much I loved her. If she couldn’t commit herself to staying, I couldn’t let myself have her.
Every breath was tainted with the lingering taste and scent of her. I wanted to drown in both and it pissed me off more than anything that I couldn’t, because while I might love her, I didn’t trust her anymore.
Did it make me feel like a dick? Fucking yes, but it remained true. I couldn’t logic my way out of the hurt she’d caused. Knowing why, knowing what happened after, didn’t change the pain; it only transformed it.
“I can’t do this.” The words were like fire in my throat.
Her fingers locked on my shirt. “Cooper,please.”
I shuddered. “I have to show you something first.”
Riley blinked up at me, eyes shining, and nodded slowly.
I led her upstairs, every step like I had an anchor dragging behind me. She needed to know how tightly I’d held on all of these years, even if that pushed her to leave again. I didn’t regret it. The level of delusion I’d clung to over the past decade was a necessity to get through our time apart, and if it freaked her out enough that it chased her off, so be it. Better to know sooner than later.
She followed me up the stairs and I unlocked the door at the end of the hall that hid stairs leading up to the loft.
“What’s up there?”
“Your omega suite.”
Riley stopped short. “Why do you have an omega suite? Cash said you guys never had anyone.”
“I saidyouromega suite. It’s been yours since we built this place. No one else has ever stayed there.”
“What do you mean it’smine?” She trotted up the stairs after me, catching up quickly as I unlocked the door at the top.
The only explanation I could give was opening the door and exposing the depths of my obsession.
Riley fell silent as she stared inside.
“I’m going for a ride. If you’re going to leave again, I imagine you’ll take Cash with you. I’ll understand if you ice me out after this, but don’t do that with the others. Cash loves you. So does Morgan and she misses you. Dakota and Levi are well on their way to loving you too. If you’re going to stay, you need to know everything, and you need to make that commitment. I can’t move forward with anything less.”
She was still staring into the room, eyes darting to a thousand things that probably had her questioning my mental well-being in the time she was gone. I slipped away down the stairs, not turning back when she called out my name.
