Page 111 of Grave Misgivings
And after last night, I know now more than ever, that it’s therightthing to do because it’s what I want.
Because Zeb is what I want.
Kevin wasn’t expecting such an announcement, and as such, the label was quick to respond to his important call. Though, to their credit, no one seemed to crazy over the whole “Gravediggeris in love with a guy” thing, but I guess the label’s had their hands full with gay awakenings and announcements as of late.
Something in the water, indeed.
Though they understood, more than I thought they would, and assured me that when I was ready to return to the studio, ready to return to beingGravedigger, I could. I’m sure my lack of sales and discussion of a new record were an easy out for them, too, even if they didn’t say anything.
I know I can never stop making music, regardless, because the music is a part of my soul, but it’s only part of the equation.
I’m made up of more than just black hair dye and contacts, after all.
Of course, I haven’t told my family or Zeb yet. But I plan to. Tell them, that is.
Along with thirty thousand other people tonight when I take the stage with the help of my friends.
Kevin approaches us, and I hear the door shut.
I turn to see Zeb standing on his porch, thick tanned arms drawing my attention from beneath his rolled up sleeves. My gaze settles on his messy dark hair, his bright green gaze. The sliver of dark chest hair sticking out from beneath his plum collar.
Once I stood in front of him, my heart in my throat as I made the hardest decision of my life, ten years ago.
I don’t regret leaving in the sense that I know now, I needed to do it. I needed to learn who I was, I needed to experience the world outside of my bubble.
I needed to becomeGravediggerso I could understand who Geo Gravesis.
And now I know.
I know exactly who I am.
“Okay, G, we really do have to head out if we want to beat traffic,” Kevin warns.
I nod. “Yeah, I know,” I say as Zeb slowly saunters down the steps.
Katy pulls me into her arms, her grip tight. “I’m going to miss you, asshole,” she says softly in my ear. “Don’t wait ten years to come back next time, okay?” I can hear the sadness in her voice.
I tighten my grip on her, her auburn hair tickling my face.
“I won’t,” I say, knowing my sister and I are going to have a lot of time to make up for.
And that’s also something I’m looking forward to, too. Even if it does involve sour apple martinis.
When she lets me go, I turn to face Zeb.
His hands are in his pockets, and the sky opens up with the brightest light behind him.
“Break a leg, sunshine,” he says, pulling me into a hug.
I can’t help the way I hold onto him. I clutch him close, breathing in his sweet tonka-bean teakwood scent. His scratchy beard brushes against my face, and I press my lips to his.
In front of my sister and my manager.
Zeb startles, but only for a moment as he relaxes and takes my face in his hands.
When we break apart, I smile, turning to Kevin, who’s got wide eyes.
“See you guys later,” I say as I head for the car.
