Page 112 of Grave Misgivings
I watch through the tinted windows as we pull out of Zeb’s driveway, watch as my sister comes to stand beside him, watch as they both wave goodbye.
“You ready, G?”Kevin asks, making sure my mic pack is secure.
The lights dim, and I know this is it.
“Ready as ever,” I say as the lights completely go out.
In my earpiece I hear the countdown.
Ten. I take a deep breath, shaking out my limbs, loosening up.
Seven. I crack my neck, closing my eyes as I focus on the sound of the fans screaming, filling the air.
Five. I clear my mind, focusing on my heartbeat.
Two. I open my eyes as I step out into the darkness, my boots clicking across the stage until I find my spot in the center.Richie’s bass echoes around me as Dare’s guitar shreds through the air, Spike grazing his cymbals as the keys of Hailee’s synth keyboard echoes with the beginning notes of Real Life’sSend Me An Angel.
And then the lights open up, bathing me in neon blue light.
I look out at the sea of people, but there’s only one face I really want to see.
I ask the crowd if they believe in heaven and they roar as the band behind me plays, and I take a moment to soak it all in.
When I ask if they believe in love, the cheers sound like heavy rain.
So do I.
The lights are bright and they drown everything out as I strum out the chords along with my backup band.
The spark in me ignites, fueling me like never before as I feel the lyrics in the depth of my soul.
I scream-sing the lyrics, begging to be sent an angel right now and they cheer like mad.
I saunter up the landing where I sat only a day prior, looking out into the vast crowd, searching for my angel.
And then I see him.
Stage right, arm in arm with my sister, next to mom and dad.
I can’t help but grin when I see him, dressed in black jeans, his dark hair styled over his face like he used to wear when he was younger, sporting aThe Usedshirt. Gold glitter rests alonghis cheekbones, and the black eyeliner rimming his green eyes makes them stand out all the more.
Slivers of the young man I once knew flicker with the man who stole my heart as he smirks at me.
Katy jumps up and down, grinning from ear to ear, sporting the same gold glitter across her face and in her hair.
My mom watches me as I grab my microphone, taking my stance, the same way I always do, and I don’t miss the look of pride on her face. Or my father’s.
The sight is most... validating, if I’m being honest.
I can feel the heat of the pyrotechnics behind me as I grip my microphone tight and I do the one thing I’ve always done when the world around me feels too much.
I sing.
I sing my fucking heart out, because for the first time since I left all those years ago, I feel it.
The spark.
I take a moment to find my breath as I finish the song, take a moment to really appreciate all that God has given me.
