Page 24 of Atlas
“Are you still here?” He grumbles, and Ren laughs while waving me off. I shake my head while walking away. Just as I’m about to go inside, I hear Ren as she speaks to Howard.
“Hm, looks like he forgot a patch.”
“Whybird?”I ask.
By the stunned look on Ren’s face, evidently I might’ve been a little abrupt. It’s possible, I was silent all the way back to the apartment. But only because I was thinking about how sweet she was, and how pretty she looks in her dress with her hair in amessy ponytail. I wanted to tell her that. I still do. But I know she will roll her eyes and brush it off like I’m being silly. It’s annoying when she does that. Like I’m blind or something and have no idea what I’m saying.
“Bird?” Ren asks as she slides her jacket off and I’m left to stare at her long, soft arms. An urge comes over me that I must resist. Icannotlick and bite her arms like a fucking psycho.
“Uh yeah, bird.” I say, trying not to continue to stare at her like she is a full fucking meal and I’ve been left for weeks to starve. “Your dad and brother called you it.”
I watch as her demeanor changes and her hands go up to cover her arms. “Yeah, when I was younger I um…wasn’t proportional, I mean I’m still big, but it’s everywhere now, back then I had skinny legs and my weight was mostly in my middle and arms. Like a bird.” I watch as she goes to grab her jacket again to put it on. Quickly, I snatch it and toss it behind me. No way I’m letting her cover up because of those fucks.
“Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?” I ask, with not one hint of humor in my voice. I need her to know that I’m being serious. I watch her shift to move her body from my view. Not happening. I walk towards her, standing in front of her face. I pull her chin so her gaze meets mine. I repeat my question, this time slower and more deliberate. “Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?”
She glares at me and shifts her face away. “Stop it,” she mutters.
“Stop what?” I ask defensively.
“Stop with the beautiful shit, the pretty girl, the princess, just stop! Look, I know I’m not some swamp creature. I’m confident enough to not completely hate myself. But you saying those things, especially in front of people, it’s uncomfortable.” Her cheeks redden and I hear the shakiness in her voice.
“Why is it uncomfortable that I call you those names? Why do you smile when they call you “bird” but you roll your eyes when I call you beautiful?” Why is she so resistant to me being nice to her?
“Because I know why you do it!” She sighs, in what appears to be deep frustration. “I know all about the “player handbook” and how you call the girls you’re around nicknames so you don’t get them mixed up. I am not one of your damn one-night stands though! You don’t have to flirt with me and you don’t have to worry about calling me the wrong name. This is a fake marriage, so just knock it off.”
I tighten my jaw and stare at the floor between us, allowing her words to continue their stabbing in my chest. After a moment, I look back at her and I see the regret on her face, it’s too late though, there’s no going back. I hold her eyes in mine.
“I have never.” I cough to clear the tightness in my throat, “and I meannevercalled another woman a pet name. Not once. You want to know the nasty truth, Lauren? My “player handbook”? I will learn their names, their signs, favorite colors, aspirations, and I would work off of that. Is my list of names longer than others? Absolutely. But I dare you to call any of them up right now and ask them if I ever made them feel like a fling or one-night stand. I dare you to call any of them and ask them if Ieverforgot their names. Not one of them was called princess, pretty girl, baby or anything. Just. Fucking. You.”
“Well, what makes me so special?” I feel a rush of something that I have to push back down. She’s being an asshole and I’m having a hard time not biting back.
“Because I like you, you fucking butthole! I fucking like you a fucking lot and I was trying to make you feel special!” I snap as I run my hands through my hair. “A while back, you were at Hel’s talking to Janie, and Fox called her baby doll, and you said in that dreamy voice you get sometimes ‘that you hope to finda man that will call you sweet pet names instead of your ‘ugly’ name’. Which is stupid, by the way, because Lauren and Ren are absolutely beautiful names. But you said that, so I started calling you Princess because you are one to me…Why are you looking at me like that?”
Her misty eyes are wide, and her mouth is hanging open. “Did you just call me a butthole?” She whispers, a sad smile on her lips. I shrug my shoulders, still mad at her but feeling a little less heated now that I see her lip wobbling.
“Well, you’re acting like one. What you said fucking hurt.” Her face drops as her hand goes to her chest.
“Atlas,” she breathes. “I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean to.”
I wave her off, beginning to feel itchy and claustrophobic. “It’s fine I get it, I have a long list of women, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you Ren, and that I don’t think you are absolutely the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”
Her cheeks redden again and I can’t help but smirk. “Shut up,” she says half heartedly.
“Make me.” I challenge her while taking a couple steps forward, stopping short of touching her as I watch panic wash over her and I realize I’ve backed her into a corner. I take a step back and to the side to allow her space just as Bruno trots into the room and whines before nudging Ren’s hip. “I’ll take him out.” I mutter, but before I can move, Ren grabs my hand.
“I got it. I need some air anyway.” Ren gives a small whistle and goes to the door, grabbing Bruno’s leash before walking out of the apartment. As the door clicks, I begin kicking and punching the air. I’m freaking out, completely losing it.
Walking over to my phone I see I have two unread messages.
Papa Fox: Busy tonight? I gotta get out of this house. Janie is on her period and if she asks me why I haven’t proposed ONE MORE TIME, I might kill her.
I snicker and go to the other unread message and instantly feel sick and full of rage.
Amelia: Look what he did to mom!
I stare at the photo of the side of my mother’s face where a large bruise was.
Me: What in the FUCK happened?
