Page 228 of Burn Bright
“That’s it. This way.” He’s directing me out the basement’s backdoor. “Time to go.” We’re all leaving. I see Beckett. He’s cradling Audrey in his arms. She’s lucid.She’s coherent.She’s awake?
“She’s okay.” Who’s saying that Tom or Charlie?
I feel drunk. Intoxicated with visceral emotion I can’t escape. No matter how much I repeatshe’s okayin my head. With one blink, I’m going from point A to point B. Soon, I’m in the veryback of Beckett’s SUV, holding onto the beer box as the kittens let out tinymeows.I press my forehead to the cardboard edge.
Someone is rubbing my back. Beckett? He should be with Audrey. She needs him, and it’s the first time I look over.
Charlie is beside me.
It makes no sense. But what has? He comes into powerful focus. And the first thing he tells me is, “Don’t puke on my lap.”
Yeah.
That’s Charlie.
It strangely calms me. The bitter, biting familiarity of him. He’s looking straight into my eyes, and again, I don’t know what he sees. They feel bloodshot. My face feels slick with silent tears.
“She’s okay,” he says, and now I’m more certain that he’s the one who said it the first time. “She became responsive immediately. She never lost a pulse. We’re taking her to the hospital. Do you understand?”
I nod.
It’s not helping. Everything he said—it’s not helping me, and I don’t know why. It should. She’s okay. Our little sister will be okay. The reassurance is in outer-fucking-space. I have no way to fly there without being asphyxiated. It feels like I’ll never reach it.
“What’s the problem?” Charlie asks with a great deal less annoyance than usual. It roils my stomach. “Ben?”
I shake my head over and over. I can’t be here. I can’t be here. I can’t be here. I can’t be here.
I can’t be here.
I’m going to hurt everyone I love.
“Ben.”
I lift my gaze to his.
Confusion—confusion I’ve never seen from Charlie—stares back at me. I am confusing a genius now? There is so muchagony inside my body, and I can’t verbally translate even an ounce.Just kill me, I want to tell him.
Then I think about the blood. Beckett’s car. Can’t do that.
Then I think about her, and I nearly break down. “Harriet,” I choke out.
Someone hands Charlie a phone—minutes later? Moments?
He’s putting it against my ear.
“Ben?” I hear her tough voice, and I wipe a hot tear that rolls down my cheek. She continues when I don’t say a word. “Is everything okay? Tom didn’t even insult me. He said you need to talk?”
I struggle to speak.
“Cobalt got your tongue,” she says flatly. “Get it. Lions, cats…dumb joke, I know.”
I clear the knot in my throat. “I’ve actually heard that one before.”
She intakes a sharp breath of relief. “Yeah? Here I thought I was finally being clever…Ben. Are you okay?”
No.I pinch my watery eyes. “Can you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
