“Can you just read to me for a second?” I swallow a rock, holding the phone tight against my ear.
“Yeah,” she says fast. “What are you in the mood for? I have an O-Chem textbook that’ll put you to sleep or we can go dark and moody and read about Pyramus and Thisbe—I vote O-Chem.”
I feel a smile somewhere in me. “Scared of the dark, Fisher?” I hoist my glassy gaze to the roof of the car.
“Sorry to say, me and the dark were friends before you.”
I rub at my wet jaw, releasing a long breath. Peace is cresting the edge of the horizon. I’m fighting to go there. “You kick your friend to the curb?”
“Yeah. With a little help from my best friend.”
I shut my eyes. Tears slip out of the creases.Stop fucking crying.Please stop. I want to stop.
Very softly, she says, “You need help, Friend?”
I nod. “Yeah,” I rasp out. “Read to me. Just read to me.”
And so she does. Science jargon goes in one ear and out the other, but I listen to her voice. I stop thinking about everything that happened. I stop fixating on my washing machine of thoughts. I just listen to Harriet. And I breathe and breathe.
“He’s strangely calm now. It’s kind of freaking me out.” I hear Tom whispering to Eliot in the seat in front of me.
Eliot rotates to inspect me.
I say nothing. Tears have dried. I’m numb.
“He’s in shock,” Eliot guesses.
Beckett has been monitoring Audrey’s pulse. He still has her in his arms, her legs splayed on Eliot’s lap. She peeks back at me.
“I feel…rather good now, you know?” She’s clammy.
I nod. “I’m glad, Audrey. You still need to get checked out though.” We’re on the way to the hospital.
“Oui.” She rests an emotional, tear-stricken smile on the cardboard box. “Where would they be without you? Terrifying, really.” Her chin quakes before she mouths the word,thank you.
I did nothing to help her. I just called our brothers.
“Je t'aime comme les arbres aiment la terre, ma petite sœur,” I murmur from the depth of my soul.I love you like the trees love the earth, my little sister.“Toujours.”Always.
“Toujours,” she repeats. “Et je t’aime comme les étoiles aiment la nuit, mon frère préféré.”And I love you like the stars love the night, my favorite brother.
Eliot gasps. “Am I not your favorite?”
Laughter ensues, along with more banter, and I cradle the sounds against my ears. I love my family. I will always love them, which is why I know now that I have to leave. Very soon. This is going to be the hardest thing I ever do in my life, but I never should’ve considered staying. And I’ve delayed it for too long.
I should’ve stuck to the original timeline. Then this would’ve never happened tonight. If I left New York weeks ago, Audrey would’ve never taken that pill. Hell, if I never came to the city after Beckett asked me, this could’ve all been avoided.
We arrive at Metropolitan Medical. It’s the closest to MVU. Audrey is admitted. Our parents were already headed to New York when they realized Audrey snuck out. So they rerouted to the hospital when my brothers informed them of tonight’s disaster.
Now they’re here. My mom’s heels clip-clapping across the hospital floors like she’s setting them on fire. My dad’s calming hand in hers. I don’t speak long to either of them. I tell them I’m okay when they ask. They should be focused on Audrey.
Neither one blames me. They reinforce, “This is not your fault.”
“Ben?” My father’s steadfast blue eyes search mine. We’re in the hallway near Fizzle vending machines. Security is hovering to where we receive only a few glances from nurses and doctors. “Can you talk to me?”
“What is there to say?” My throat is torched. It hurts to speak, but I’m trying. “My frat gave Audreyfentanyl.”
Yeah, the doctors figured out the drug in her system. She could’ve so easily died tonight if Beckett didn’t have Narcan in his car. I am one small move away from killing one of my siblings. That’s what it feels like. Not to mention, her ankle is sprained. She made the varsity cheer team, so she’ll be sitting out until her foot heals.