Page 7 of Otter Heart
“He–” I stopped. I didn’t know. “He did something, I’m sure.”
“And what were his aspirations? His dreams?”
“How would I know that?” I retorted. “That’s his business.”
“Did you tell him what your dreams were?”
“No. He didn’t need to know. My dreams are my own. What does that have to do with our relationship?”
“And how long were you dating?”
“Six weeks.”
Rowan and James both nodded as if they understood something.
“What?” I asked in irritation. “Why are you nodding?”
“We’ve talked about this,” James said first. “When Rowan was telling me about you for the first time. He told me that you and I would get along, but he warned me–”
“Warned?!”
“Warned me that you were difficult to get close to,” James finished. “That it would probably be a long time before you opened up to me as you’d done with him. And that you might noteverlet me in completely.” He gave me a small smile. “I’m glad to see that’s not the case.”
“But you’re doing it to the guys you’re dating,” Rowan added. “You’re shutting them out.”
“No I’m not!” I said in disbelief. “Just because I didn’t ask that guy about his stupid dreams? How is that my fault? If he wanted to talk about them, he should have!”
“Did you make him feel like you wouldlistenif he did?”
“I…” I paused, thinking it over. “I don’t know! How do you even do that?”
“Let me ask you this,” James said, taking over. “Did you ever tell him aboutyou? Your story, where you came from, or where you wanted to go in this life?”
“I guess not.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I guess it just didn’t feel important. I thought having fun and getting along was more important than talking about personal bullshit. Nobody wants to hear me bitch about my baggage, anyway.”
“That stuff is important,” Jame urged, placing a hand on my arm. “It isn’t the sex or the fun that makes people fall in love. It’s the messy stuff that makes them who they are.”
I stared at him, my jaw working but no words came out. Of course, what he said to me rang true and I felt like it was something I alreadyknew. But somehow, without realizing it, I’d been completely ignoring it for a long time. Then again, I’d been through so many guys and so much heartbreak that I probably closed myself off without noticing it.
How long had that been going on?
“I’m gonna add one last thing and then we’ll quit piling it all on you,” Rowan said.
“It’s fine,” I sighed. “Say what you need to, Booboo.”
“You can be…a lotto be around sometimes.”
My brows knitted together. “What the hell does that mean?”
He flinched. “I just mean that… you know… the sass and the rude comments… sometimes it’s a bit much.” He glanced up at me, the wind ruffling his shirt and hair. “Even when I know you’re joking… sometimes I find myself wondering if you like me at all.”
“W-Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I knew it would upset you,” he replied. “And it has.”
