Page 45 of Needing to Fall
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I looked around the vast, open space. Fields lined the area with a baseball field in the center that had a large track circling it. “What are we doing here?”
Lynx reached into the back of his truck, pulling out a pair of tennis shoes then handing them to me. “Put these on.”
I didn’t take them, just raised my brow. “Why?”
He chuckled. “So much for the trust.” He wiggled them in his hands. “I’m going to show you how I deal when I have a shitty day.”
My curiosity was piqued. I really wanted to know. Any coping mechanism was like gold. Therefore, I grabbed the shoes, took my boots off, and put them on. They were quite big, but I made due by tying them extra tightly. Lynx kept his boots on as he led me to the large track. He didn’t touch me, but he walked right beside me, close enough that I felt the brush of his arm every once in a while.
At the field, he bent down on one knee and made sure his laces were tied then rose. “Laps. We run laps.”
I stared at him. He was joking, right? My jobs required me to be on my feet, but running wasn’t on my list of things I did.
He smiled, reading the look on my face. “Yes, we run. It’ll help you clear your head and get rid of all the shit by pounding it step by step into the track.”
Lynx picked up one foot, pulling it to his ass, stretching his muscles. I stared in awe at his fluid movements. Each one was so precise and with reason. Each of his flexes made parts of my body come alive that I hadn’t noticed since I had Drew in my life.
“You gonna stretch?” he asked, and I snapped my eyes away from his flexing, following his lead. My muscles were tight and not used to this, but surprisingly felt pretty good.
“Come on,” he said, taking off in a jog.
I couldn’t stop staring at the fluidity of his movements, like years and years of practice had been put into each. Of their own accord, my feet took off, catching up to Lynx.
We fell into step with each other, my breaths trying to keep up. On the second time around, Lynx spoke.
“I do this to clear the shit out of my head. When I run, I don’t have to think about anything but my feet hitting each step. Any emotion I have racing through me, I push into the steps I take.” He paused, and I thought about his words. Then I thought about my mother and her hurtful ones.
I sent them down to my feet and hit the pavement a bit harder than I had previously. It felt good, almost relieving.
“When I have visions of my brothers”—my stomach dropped for him—“I go to a track like this and run. I could run for fifteen minutes or hours. It all depends on what mood I’m in.”
I was happy he had an outlet he could use to cope.
As each step I took hit the ground, I allowed the emotions of the day to fall with them, the tension slowly leaving my body along with my energy. Each step was putting distance between me and the buildup of pressure inside myself. Each time my knees came up and feet went down, I could work through the thoughts in my head as my body worked through the motions. Motions and emotions all worked together for a common goal: to keep moving, keep going.
“Catch me,” he called out as he darted forward.
He thought I could catch him?
“Come on!” he called back when I didn’t move. “Show me what you’re made of.”
I took off, pushing my used body hard. I gained feet on him, reaching out my hand and feeling the urge to tag him. With one more push, my fingertips grazed his shirt.I did it!I stopped, doubling over at the waist with heaving breaths.
Lynx’s hand came to my back, and I stilled. Taking some more breaths, I let it go.
“You okay, babe?” he asked with laughter in his voice.
“I got you.” I rose to see his smiling face, pride coming off me.
His hand came around my side, resting on my hip, the tingles hitting me hard with the slight touch. I wondered why he wasn’t heaving like me. His touch wasn’t helping.
He took a step closer, and I sucked in deeply. “You did,” he said in his deep, baritone voice. He reached for my hand and placed a soft kiss on the top of it. Every bit of breath was knocked out of me because it was so tender, gentle. In that moment, I wanted to kiss him, but I was scared shitless of it.
He surprised me by saying, “Come on.” Then he held my hand, tugging me back to the truck. He let go only long enough to grab a blanket from the back before he was leading me to a wide open area. I felt nervous, but at the same time, I didn’t. Everything with Lynx came so naturally.
He laid out the blanket then motioned for me to sit. “Let’s take a break.”
