Page 45 of Finding Her
She sighed and turned to face me completely, crossing her arms and leaning her hip against the yellowed sink. With her bright blue hair curled and her full face of makeup, she honestly looked older than I did right now.
“I’m going to be real with you because it seems like nobody was,” she said. Her tone was so high and mighty that if I hadn’t already decided I hated her, I would now. “He spread that rumour around school himself, because he and his girlfriend don’t want everyone knowing about them.”
“Clearly,” I said drily, as I patted a towel over my face. “Because if you’re telling me that his girlfriend is Claire Thompson, I’ve heard that she’s been with half the hockey team in the last six months alone.”
Sure, that was a rumour I heard through the grapevine and I normally didn’t like to give rumours any weight, but this one time, I was making an exception. Both because I’d heard it from enough people that I thought it was likely true and because I needed to say whatever I could to get this girl to back off.
“They have an unusual relationship,” Mia said. “See, their parents won’t let them date in high school. But that doesn’t mean they’re not together, you know?”
“No, actually,” I said coldly. “I don’t.”
She huffed in annoyance. “Look, they’ve both agreed that they can do whatever they want right now. Date other people, hook up, whatever. But everyone knows that they’re going to get married one day—they’ve agreed on it, their parents want it, everyone. He even bought her a promise ring.
I still wasn’t following her logic at all. They knew they were going to get married, so they were hooking up with other people in the meantime? And why would you buy a girl a promise ring then let her kiss your teammates?
“You’re wrong,” I told her. “He doesn’t even like Claire. He told me so himself.”
I thought of this morning again, the way he’d needed me to help convince Claire he wasn’t in love with her. He wouldn’t have done that if he thought he was destined to marry her someday.
“It’s not about whether he wants her,” she said. “It’s about what his dad wants for him. He’s told you about his dad, hasn’t he? How he controls every part of Levi’s life? This is just another one of those things—Mr. Barrett wants Levi to be with Claire, so that’s what is going to happen.”
Unfortunately, that was the first thing she’d said that actually rang of truth. And it was also the only thing she could have said that would make me believe that Levi and Claire did actually have a future. I’d seen it in his eyes when he talked about his dad and how he was doing everything he could to keep him happy. If his dad wanted him with Claire, there was no amount of feelings for other people that could break them apart.
“And besides,” Mia said lightly, “he does love Claire. He was lying to you if he said anything different.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, desperately wanting to tell her she was wrong—but wondering if she was actually right after all.
“How do you know all this?” I asked.
“Oh, didn’t I say?” she asked brightly. “Claire’s my older sister.”
And with those words, my heart plummeted. Bear had told me himself that Claire was a friend of the family—meaning Mia was by extension as well. She knew his dad better than I ever could. And she would have been there if Levi and Claire had made some promises to each other. And the more that I thought about it, the more it all came together. No wonder Claire had been around so much. No wonder he looked so annoyed every time he saw her. It didn’t matter if he didn’t love her if he knew that ultimately she was the only one he could ever be with. I was starting to feel a little sick. I rinsed my toothbrush and splashedsome cold water on my face, hoping it would help, but it didn’t do anything for me at all.
What was I thinking? That I could possibly be with Bear, of all people? It hadn’t even been about the bet for me over the last few days—when I’d given him the scrunchie and introduced him to Ivy and sat with him on the bus, all of that had just been for me. Because I’d been stupid enough to lose track of what the goal I was after and let myself fall for him.
Had this been Claire’s plan the whole time? To make me become interested in Bear and then crush me with the knowledge that he was always going to go back to her? Maybe she hadn’t been outright lying when she called herself his girlfriend. Sure, they weren’t together in the traditional sense, but if I was in a situation his complicated, I would probably just say I was his girlfriend too.
When was Bear going to tell me about all of this? I thought back to all the time we’d spent together recently. The way he’d been so close to me. I guess he hadn’t been outright romantic. It wasn’t like we had ever kissed or made promises to each other. But I just assumed…
I gripped the edge of the sink tightly. That was the problem—I assumed.
And now I was paying the price for it.
CHAPTER 30
poppy
I spentthe rest of the night in a daze, unsure how to process anything that Mia had told me.
When I got back to the tent, Bear had tried to strike up a conversation. I told him that I suddenly had a headache and I really wanted to go to sleep. He’d offered me an Advil, but I just shook my head and rolled over, lying, facing away from him, and hoping that he would leave it alone. Thankfully, he did.
I hoped I’d feel better in the morning, but in the morning, I somehow only felt worse. I quickly left the tent before he woke up. I went to sit on the rocks by the lake, needing some time for myself. It seemed like the whole campsite was dead, even though once I checked my watch, I realized it was almost 9 o’clock. I guess with everyone up late partying last night, they were all sleeping in.
It was just as well for me. I needed time to think and it would have been hard to get it with everyone else around. But as soon as the thought crossed my mind, a twig snapped behind me. I jumped to my feet, ready to put on my happy mask so whoever it was didn’t ask what was wrong—until I saw the boy standing there.
“You ran off before I woke up,” he said, his voice flat. Even though he didn’t actually ask, I could hear the question in the words.
I shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”
