Page 92 of Capacity
“Twenty-one. She lived twenty-one years without me. I don’t mind but I don’t feel like she’s my child even though I know she is.”
“You can’t expect a connection to form instantaneously, T.”
“I wish it would.” His words held a shadowy veil that masked the thoughts in his mind.
“Let her stay with you for a little while if you trust her. The relationship will grow organically from there.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about.”
“Don’t worry about it, man. Look at it as a blessing. It’s a blessing twenty-one years later but a blessing nonetheless. You got a picture of her? What’s her name?”
He handed me his phone with a half-smile and said, “Her name is Rivia. She’s beautiful.”
She was beautiful. She had honey-brown skin the same complexion as Terrence’s with big brown eyes that made her look younger than twenty-one and the picture of innocence.
“Congrats, Dad. It’s a girl,” I laughed handing him the phone.
“Yeah, thanks,” he scoffed. He stole one more glance at the picture on his phone before tucking it in his pocket.
“You’re going to be fine, T. You’re in a good place in your life and the universe is putting Rivia in your path for a reason. Hopefully, you can build a relationship with her.”
“Hopefully…”
We spent an hour talking about ways to make Rivia feel comfortable in her new living situation and how T would adjust to having a woman in his house. He’d been alone for so long he didn’t know how to handle having anyone else in his space.
“You gotta help me out, Knight. I have no idea what to do with her.”
“She’s grown. You don’t have to do anything. She doesn’t have to go to school, she has a job, and she doesn’t need you to cook for her.”
“I mean I don’t know how to forge a relationship.”
“You said you two talk a lot, right? That’s a great start.”
“We talk but it doesn’t feel like father-daughter shit.”
“It doesn’t have to. The whole point is to establishsomekind of relationship. It doesn’t have to be a traditional father-daughter relationship. It can be a friendship. Just be happy there’s something.”
“You know what, Knight? You’re right. Some kind of relationship is better than nothing.”
I was happy to see the storm cloud lift from his expression. I could tell he was still struggling with something but I knew Terrance and if he wanted to talk about he would. I knew I’d be there for him whenever he needed to talk because he was always there for me.
After lunch with Terrence, I got a call from Mr. Wells. He asked if I could meet him at the house and I, of course, jumped at the chance. He and Mrs. Wells had been on my mind after Lumi got back from Texas.
“Knight, come on in. I’m glad to see your face.” Something was different about his eyes. He hugged me then we walked inside. I noticed the space where Mrs. Wells’ hospital bed used to sit, swallowing most of their living room, was gone. A blank space was there instead.
I knew right away what was wrong with his eyes.
His light was gone.
I hung my head and pulled in a breath. “Mr. Wells.” I swallowed hard, begging my own selfish tears not to surface.
“She’s gone, Knight. Penny is gone. She died six days ago and my life has been hell ever since. Even though I saw it coming, I could never imagine the pain of it.”
I had no words. So, I pulled him in for a hug that spoke louder than my mouth ever could. I knew the pain he was dealing with and I knew it would take him a while to heal. It brought my pain rushing to the surface but instead of drowning in it, I let it wash over me.
There was no denying the presence of painful memories but they didn’t soak me to the bone like they normally did. I was forever grateful for that. It may have taken me years but I was finally starting to heal the healthy way.
“I wanted to personally thank you for everything you did for us, Knight. Penny loved you. She thought you were amazing and I have to say she was right.” We took a seat on the couch and I couldn’t take my eyes off that empty space.
