Page 24 of Shelf-Made Man
“Trolls candrive?” Tobias was aware he sounded almost hysterical.
“If they spend enough time in your world.”
Dandy.
For several minutes, while Alfie kept casting nervous looks behind them, Tobias tried to lose the Ram in traffic. But it was no good, and after the third near-accident, he started worrying that the trolls would cause a wreck. Innocent drivers on their way to Christmas at Grandma’s didn’t deserve to become troll-rage victims.
Unable to think of a better plan, Tobias took the next exit, which funneled him into the midst of farmland. He was dismayed but not surprised when the Ram followed.
“Shit.”
“Tobias?”
“I’m in a car chase like a scene from a stupid movie. I’ve never been in a car chase before. I don’t know what to do.” Also, he drove a Kia Soul because it was practical and had been recommended on several websites as a good choice for tall drivers. If it had any evasive abilities, it hadn’t come up in his online search. One good bump from behind by that huge pickup would probably do him in.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about cars. But I believe in you, Tobias. You are a hero.”
The words might have been nothing more thancheerleading, but they gave Tobias strength nonetheless. He floored the gas and took off down the road, the Ram in hot pursuit. Luckily there was little traffic here, and Tobias was able to swerve around the few cars he did encounter. He briefly wondered what would happen if a cop car appeared, but since none did, there was no use speculating.
He made a sharp right onto a side road—so fast that he skidded a little—while the Ram raced forward along the original road. But the next time Tobias checked, the Ram had turned too and was barreling off-road to catch up with them. It even pulled up next to them and tried to force him off the road into a ditch, but Tobias was able to surge ahead and, a few seconds later, take another abrupt turn.
This put them on a narrow road with farmland on either side and, in the distance, some hills. There was no other traffic, which was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it meant other drivers weren’t in danger; on the other, there was nothing for Tobias to hide behind or to put between him and his pursuers. For the moment, all he could do was drive as fast as he could. Unfortunately, the Ram had no problems keeping up.
“They’re going to make us crash,” he growled.
“They won’t want to kill me,” replied Alfie, voice tight. “Yet. Snjokarl would be disappointed.”
That didn’t make Tobias feel any better.
The Ram pulled almost abreast and tried to run them off the road, but Tobias was able to surge forward and then, a short distance later, make a fast turn onto awide gravel road. He heard the Ram skid when it tried to follow, but his relief was short-lived when the truck pulled out of the skid and accelerated. It was at this point that Tobias had a bit of a shock: the gravel road dead-ended after a couple of driveways. Those driveways led to farmhouses, which wouldn’t do him any good. So he gave the wheel a desperate crank and managed to do a U-turn and rocket back down the gravel road and out onto the pavement. Behind him, he heard more skidding but saw only a thick cloud of dust kicked up by the tires.
Although the Ram had the advantage of sheer size and was as fast as his Kia, the Kia was more maneuverable and might fit into spaces that the bigger truck couldn’t. If only he were able to find one of those spaces.
Well, at least he still had plenty of gas.
He continued down the road at top speed—trees, fields, and farmhouses nothing but blurs. After a few more random turns, the Ram was still in close pursuit.
“You’re good at this,” said Alfie.
“Lots of experience with driving simulation games.” And to think he’d assumed he was just wasting his time with those. If he survived this, he was going to have to leave some games a five-star review.
Tobias slipped around a slow-moving farm truck and then, a mile or so later, an Amazon delivery van. He did another couple of turns and executed a peel-out that probably didn’t do his tires any good but didsucceed in getting a bit of space between him and the Ram, which made him whoop with delight.
He was having fun.
That thought was both shocking and inappropriate, but it was also true. He’d never had any real adventures, and now here he was with a gorgeous elf at his side, acting as if he was in a low-rent fantasy version ofFast & Furious. He wasn’t fond of the life-threatening aspects, and he was enraged about the threats to Alfie… but he was also doing something a lot more interesting than moping through the holidays.
He was nearing a farmhouse perched on a hill when he saw a possible solution to his current problem. At the bottom of the hill was a muddy-looking pond. A fence ran between the pond and the road, with just a narrow strip of grassy ground on the pond side. There were a few overgrown shrubs there too, with lots of branches and no main trunk. Road, fence, and strip of ground were all several feet higher than the pond.
“Willing to take a risk?” he asked Alfie.
“Yes. I have faith in you.”
Well. What more could Tobias ask for.
He suddenly veered off the road and onto the driveway that led to the farmhouse. But instead of continuing up the hill, he turned again—so fast that the Kia felt as if it might roll—and gunned it onto that little grassy space between pond and fence.
The Ram was right on his tail.
