Page 25 of Shelf-Made Man
And a wide-ass shrub was dead ahead.
Another violent turn of the steering wheel and hecleared the bush, just barely. Branches scraped the sides, undoubtedly wrecking his paint job, but he made it.
The troll driving the Ram must have realized at the last second that his vehicle was too wide. Tobias heard brakes squeal and metal crash, but he was too busy trying to get back to the road to see what had happened.
Alfie, however, let out a cheer. “You got him!”
Back on solid pavement, Tobias dared to stop and look behind. The Ram was upside down in the pond, the tires slowly spinning above the waterline.
He looked at Alfie, Alfie looked back… and they crashed into each other for a triumphant, messy, wonderful kiss.
Chapter
Ten
Kissing Alfie was one of the best activities Tobias could think of. But they’d just been involved in a car chase, they didn’t know if the trolls had survived their trip into the pond, and in any case, Tobias didn’t want to explain things to an irate farmer or the local sheriff.
So he pulled away from Alfie with considerable reluctance, put the car into gear, and headed back to the freeway that would take them to San Francisco.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “Your bruises didn’t get banged up too bad?”
“That was magnificent.”
Tobias wasn’t sure whether Alfie meant his driving or the kiss and decided not to ask. Either way, it was a compliment. “I never thought I’d do that in real life.”
“I’m sorry that I?—”
“I’m not complaining. I enjoyed it. Honestly, it was even better than yesterday’s fight.”
He received one of Alfie’s leg squeezes. Tobias was really starting to like those. They were so… affirming.
“The Emperor used to host annual sporting competitions,” Alfie said. “Archery, wrestling, footraces… those sorts of things. Athletes could win prizes, and the kingdoms represented by the winners could brag about it. Occasionally, minor border disputes and trade negotiations were settled through the games. Much better than warfare.”
Tobias figured this was something like the Olympics. “Did you participate?”
Alfie laughed. “No! I am not remotely talented enough. But I did attend as Father’s representative, and it was great fun to watch. Of course there was also quite a lot of feasting, drinking, and fucking. They were wonderful events. But the reason I mention it is that you would make a worthy competitor.”
“Me?” Now it was Tobias’s turn to laugh. “I run slow and have no idea how to shoot arrows. Unless car racing is one of the contests, I wouldn’t be much good.”
“We don’t have motor vehicles. But Tobias, I am certain that you would excel at anything you put your mind to. You are formidable. You’ve bested trolls twice in two days, and very few could say the same.”
This would have been an excellent opening for Tobias to reveal his identity. But he kept his mouth shut.
Drivingin San Francisco and the surrounding areas was almost as harrowing as racing trolls. The traffic was mostly stop-and-go, and the streets and freeways did unpredictable things like veering off in strange directions and splitting up in ways one wouldn’t expect. But Alfie was enchanted by the Bay Bridge and fascinated by the city itself. “Look at those big ships!” he exclaimed. “And those buildings—they’re so tall and shiny.”
“No freighters or skyscrapers where you live?”
“We’re far from the sea, and we live in modest buildings. Even the Royal Palace isn’t—” Alfie stopped and sighed. “It’s not especially grand, as palaces go. But it was my home.”
“I’m sorry.”
“And I apologize for being maudlin. I’m very grateful to be alive at all, and look what adventures I’m having! My life was never this interesting before.”
Tobias had been thinking the same thing about his own life not that long ago. Andinterestingwas an ambiguous term. Mysterious fungal infections could be interesting, as could that weird noise your car was making, or the letter you recently received from the IRS. He’d spent most of his life assuming that predictable and safe were better than interesting. But now he wasn’t so sure.
“YOLO,” he said out loud.
“Pardon?”
