Page 174 of Somebody's Watching Me
One photo in particular drew her attention. Taken at their small engagement party organized by Annabeth, neither she nor Liam had realized anyone was watching. Never liking crowds and preferring each other’s company over anyone else’s, they had snuck off to the quiet conservatory where he turned on the record player and asked her to dance. She couldn’t recall the joke now, but whatever Liam had said while they swayed together had made her toss her head back and laugh just as Ty snuck in to snap the photo.
It had been one of the happiest days of her life.
“I love this picture. It captures that special something you two share,” Ty had told her when he placed it on the shelf. “The term made for each other is kind of corny, but yeah. I think that’s exactly what we have here. It reminds me of your mom and dad.”
To be compared to the great love story of her parents had been the biggest thrill. It solidified that this magical thing between her and Liam was real. Halves of a whole, never complete unless together.
Or so the story goes.
But sitting here, with the truth burning on her tongue, she wondered what her mother would think. If Laura Jean had lived, would she have held her daughter’s hand through this mess, or would she have looked at her with the same exhausted frustration everyone else always did? Would she be annoyed and think, well, what can you expect? This is Jamison, after all.
And that was how everyone was going to react when they learned what she’d done. None of them would be surprised. It would be just another one of the audaciously ridiculous things they expected from her. Another failure that was inevitably her fault.
Thinking it wise to place some space between them, she moved to stand, wrapping herself in his button-up shirt that nearly swallowed her whole.
“I’m going to sit over here.”
He didn’t stop her as she went to the other end of the couch.
“The months before we broke up, things were rough,” she began, thinking her way back to the beginning. “Tough cases for you. Tough crap at my work. I was tired, you were exhausted, and life generally sucked. I was like a zombie and you… you became a ghost.”
No matter how much he hated her after this, Liam was a good man, and would acknowledge the change he’d undergone working those horrific cases.
“Yeah, it was a bad time.”
“And that was when you started to say how you weren’t interested in having kids.”
She risked a glance in his direction. Leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, and head hanging, his hands shook. Out of nervousness or anger, she wasn’t sure, but as a master at concealing his emotions, the slight tremor meant he was preparing himself. Good. The last thing she needed was to catch him by surprise.
“Talk.” Eyes forward, and body stiff, he nodded again. “It was just talk.”
“But you meant it,” she shot back. “You say you know me, but damn it, I know you. You meant it every time you said it, and God knows you said it enough.”
His eyes closed as a shuddering breath escaped him. “If you had lived through what I had, if you had seen what I had seen, you would understand the headspace I was in.”
“I know,” she replied, disappointed in herself. It should have never come to this. She should have been the partner he deserved and helped him work through the clutter in his mind. “And I knew it then.”
“Just say it, Jamison.”
Her brain scrambled over where to start so she could soften the blow, but there was really no way to do that. “The week prior to our breakup, do you remember how I had been sick with that nasty cold?”
Liam tilted his head to look at her, his brows drawn tight as he thought back to that horrible time. “Vaguely.”
“We had our fight on Wednesday, and after you left, I started throwing up.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah, good.” He relaxed some. “When I left and went downstairs to my car, I puked in the parking lot. I think half the building saw me.”
He’d seemed so calm when he walked out the door that night. Leaving without a word and taking nothing with him. No clothes. No toothbrush. Nothing.
“I’m sorry I put you through that.” The tears were overwhelming her again, and she sucked them down, determined to see this through. “I’m sorry I put you through all of it, Liam. You deserve so much more than me.”
“That’s yourguilt talking.”
It wasn’t. It was the truth. She had put them through hell, and he deserved to be with someone worthy.
