Page 38 of Wicked Games We Play
“Uh, starving, bro!” he exclaimed before shifting his focus back to his game.
Saturday mornings at home with Jordan were my absolute favorite time of the week, despite the pre-teen “bro” that had somehow snuck its way into his vocabulary. I had always laughed at the memes and videos that said “I went from mama to mommy to mom to bro”, but now that I lived that reality, it wasn’t as funny. Still, I smiled at my son, who was still very much my baby, and thanked the universe for him.
My smile faltered, though, when my thoughts drifted back to Noah.
I knew I had no right to be upset that he had walked away, and I think what hurt the most was the fact that I never actually thought that he would. Noah had always been in the background of my life—a constant, subtle reminder of what could have been.
Now, he wasn’t there at all.
Is this what I wanted? Did I want him to disappear from my life so that I could reallyliveit?
This didn’t feel like living at all, not without knowing he was by my side, if only metaphorically. Something about knowing that Noah was close by had always kept me going. It kept me going when I felt like the world was about to crumble around me. It kept me going when I realized my marriage was failing and I knew I would someday be alone. The knowledge of Noah being close by kept me hopeful for a future where I could feel the love that I read about in my novels. Now it just felt empty.
My future felt empty.
But I didn’t need a man to make my future feel full, right?
Right.
Time was up, but not my time. It was time to put me first and actually stick to that. I knew what I had to do. It was time to make plans.
Plans for myself.
Plans for my family.
And maybe someday, plans for a future with Noah.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
“Well, don’t look so enthusiastic, Whitlock,” Wes barked. His voice was stern—pissed that I had been completely fucking distracted at work.
Still.
It’d been one full week and not a word from Lily. I was more distracted now than I had ever been, constantly checking my phone like I was a teenager with his first girlfriend. Every hour that passed where I didn’t have a message or a call from Lily made my temper rise, and I was taking it out on everyone who crossed my path.
Crumpling the paper that held my assignment details, I tossed it into the trash can that sat next to Wes’s desk. “Does it matter? I’m headed to Bridge Point in—” I looked down at my watch to check the date, “—ten days. So no, Wes, I can’t sit here and look enthusiastic when the woman I love has gone radio silent on me and I’m about to leave.”
“Which is why you need to suck it up and do your damn job, Noah. This is exactly why I’ve refused to tie myself down all these years. Love makes you weak and sloppy.”
“Oh, bullshit, Wes, don’t sit here and come at me all high and mighty, like you’ve never been completely hung up on a woman. Don’t try to downplay yourcurrentsituation, man.”
“She knows where we stand,” Wes said dismissively, as if he wasn’t quietly dating a woman almost half his age. He could try to deny it all he wanted, but I knew him well enough to know when he was completely captivated by a woman, and this one had snuck up on him.
“And where exactly are you standing? Underneath the sole of her designer heel while she stands naked above you and makes you salivate over her pussy?” I hoped he’d heed the warning through the bite in my tone that I was in no mood to fuck around.
The back of his chair flew out behind him as he stood, rounding the corner of his desk. He was in front of me before I could blink. “You fucking talk about her like that again, Noah, and I swear to God you won’t have a fucking job to leave for in ten days,” he seethed.
“Yeah, and she means nothing, right?” I taunted, not giving two shits, knowing his threat was idle—he’d never fire me, not when the department was already shorthanded and dropping like flies.
“Fuck you, Whitlock, get the hell out of my office.” Wes was enraged as he kicked me out, but pissing him off didn’t bring me any satisfaction. In fact, it just made me feel shittier. But I didn’t care—the only thing I cared about was that it had been seven days since I walked away from my girl thinking she’d realized she had pushed me away unnecessarily, and I still hadn’t heard from her. I’d piss off Wes a thousand times if it meant getting my mind off the hole in my heart for even just one second.
“With pleasure, boss,” I quipped, fighting the urge to flip him the bird as I stomped out of his office, slamming the door behind me.
* * *
Reggie’s wasloud tonight and crawling with women. Aaron and Will had talked me into grabbing beers after work and I had unknowingly walked into ladies’ night. All women got half priced drinks all night long. It was apparent their marketing strategy had worked. The women outnumbered the men by nearly triple, and you couldn’t wipe the smirk off Aaron and Will’s faces as they looked around with a hungry look in their eyes.
I had a permanent scowl on my face that wouldn’t be leaving unless a certain blonde walked through the doors, which was highly unlikely since it was her night with Jordan.
