Page 37 of Wicked Games We Play
Time’s up.
Noah was giving me exactly what I had asked him for, but I hadn’t expected what the sight of him walking away would do to me. He had taken a knife and made a clean slice right down the center of my heart, splitting it in two before walking away with each piece of it firmly in his grasp.
“Oh honey, sweet girl, what’s happened?” The motherly croon of Mrs. Landry made me sob harder. She took her time, lowering herself to the ground beside me, pulling my shaking body against her frail one. “Shh, shh, darling. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay. I’ve got you, girl.” She rocked me forward and back, side to side, as if I were a child in need of comfort. I welcomed the gesture.
As my sobs became silent, I shifted my body weight off of Mrs. Landry, and steadied myself into a cross-legged seated position on the grass. I fidgeted with the hem of my dress, pulling it as close to my knees as I could before Mrs. Landry snatched my hand in hers and held it softly.
“Tell me, my girl,” she urged.
I gulped in a breath of air, slowly blowing it back out. My eyes clenched shut, and I squeezed her hand. “I told you a few months back about Noah. Do you remember?”
She nodded.
“What I didn’t tell you about him is that he stole my heart right before I got pregnant in high school. I had planned on breaking up with Ryder to be with Noah, but then I found out I was pregnant with Jordan. The moment I found out, the only thing that mattered was the baby inside of me. Ryder and I did what we thought was right for our son and raised him together. I told Noah that things with him and I would never progress, but he never stopped waiting.” Mrs. Landry nodded again as I met her eyes. “After Ryder and I separated, I reached out to Noah. We had spoken innocently, on and off throughout the years, but something compelled me to tell him about my separation and once I did it was like no time had passed. He chased me, and I let him. But I wasn’t ready. I couldn't get out of one relationship and jump right into another. I’ve been honest with him from the day we started talking, and he promised he would wait for me. For as long as it took… but he’s done waiting now.” My head dropped, my chin hovering close to my chest. I bit my cheek to keep the tears that had just stopped from falling again.
“He said he was done forever?” she questioned while using the hand she wasn’t holding mine with to rub soft circles over my back.
“He asked me to fully commit to him; said he was done with what we’ve been doing. I told him I still wasn’t ready for that and that’s when he walked away. He told me that time was up.”
“What’s holding you back, Lily? Why are you not ready to commit to this man when he so obviously holds your heart?”
The answer was lodged in my throat. Why wasn’t I ready? Hadn’t I given myself time to be independent and live life the way I wanted for a while? Why was I still so hesitant to let him fully in? I had no answer to that question anymore.
Our eyes met again, and wisdom reflected through her dark brown irises. Her smile was warm and I could feel it in the depths of my soul. I was so grateful for this woman who I had grown to love as a maternal figure.
“You don’t have to answer me, honey, but you do need to answer yourself. Take some time for a little self-reflection, and let your heart guide you through this. Only you can decide what’s best for you and if you want an opinion from an old dame like me, I think your heart and your head are at war. Now, there’s nothing wrong with a little bickering between the two, but Lily, you have a decision to make. We aren’t always so lucky to have our hearts and our heads align, and sometimes we have to let our souls decide for us. So let your soul speak. Listen to what it has to say.”
I couldn’t think of a single thing to say back to her, and instead sat quietly, picking at blades of grass while I let her words sink in. She sat with me and just offered a warm presence. It was so appreciated.
“Mrs. Landry, who’s watching the flower shop?” I asked suddenly, realizing that if she was out here with me, then she wasn’t at the shop.
Giggling, she patted my knee twice before attempting to hoist herself back up. Shuffling to my feet quickly, I grabbed her cane and handed it to her as I gently pulled her by her elbow.
“My girl, when I saw you collapse to the floor, I ran out the door and across the street as fast as I physically could. There could be fifteen people looting the shop right now, for all I care. You’re more important than flowers,” she told me, shooting me a look that told me that my question was stupid.
When she was grounded on her feet, I pulled her into a soft embrace, hugging her tightly. “Thank you,” I whispered, burying my head in her shoulder.
She pulled back from our hug and placed her hand on my shoulder, pushing me back lightly to look at me. “My dear girl, you will figure out what is best for you and, if you choose so, that boy will come back to you. He loves you, I can tell. Let your soul guide you to what it truly wants.” She twisted my blonde curls and pulled them to one side to hang over my shoulder, a gesture that felt so motherly. “Come now, let’s grab your belongings and get you in your car so you can head home. I’m giving you the rest of the day off.”
Giving her a tight smile, I nodded my head and walked back toward the gazebo where I had carelessly left my purse. All I could think about was going home. I wanted to curl up on my couch, pull a blanket over my head, and pretend this day had never happened.
Time’s up.
We’ll see about that Noah, we’ll see.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
It’s been four and a half days. No call. No text. Not even a freaking email like it was 2009.
Noah walked away, and that was that.
No, you pushed him away, you idiot.
I jumped at the pop of bacon grease overheating. “Ow, shit!” I whined when the grease landed on my wrist. Grabbing the paper towel next to me, I wiped at the spot before turning down the burner.
“You ok, Mom?” Jordan asked, looking up from his tablet. He sat at the kitchen island playing a racing game, still wearing his pajamas. A look of concern flashed across his features while I ran my wrist under cool water from the faucet.
“Yeah, bud, I’m ok. Are you hungry? Breakfast will be ready in a just a minute.”
