Noting my disdain as we sat at a table near the center of the room, Aaron was the first to speak up. “Alright, Noah. You’ve been like this for over a week now. What’s up?”

Lifting my glass of whiskey to my lips, I held it there as I debated on how much I wanted to tell them. It wasn’t as though this was a secret or that I couldn’t trust them. They simply didn’t need to know all the details of my private life—that just wasn’t my style. Deciding on the bare minimum, I took a sip and let the dark drink burn my throat slightly, welcoming the slight pain the liquor offered me. “I walked away from my girl. She needed time to figure her shit out.”

Both men offered me a puzzled look.

“But, why?” Aaron asked.

“I was tired of the games,” I answered simply. It was the truth.

The next question came from Will. “Wasn’t that your whole foreplay? Playing games?”

Taking another long sip of whiskey, I thought about that. It was our foreplay, wasn’t it? At what point had my relationship with Lily turned into this? To the point where we loved to torture and hurt each other? It wasn’t healthy, and the realization caused a pit at the base of my stomach. I wanted to love her, not hurt her, but did I even deserve her? Maybe walking away was the right decision after all. Maybe I should stay away for good.

“Whatever you’re thinking in there, stop,” Will told me pointedly. He shifted in his chair, leaning forward, forcing eye contact with me. “Your eyes are dark, man. We can see your pain. It’s fucked up. Whatever you’re thinking, you need to stop because the only person you’re hurting right now, is yourself.”

“He’s right, man. Why not just go get your girl back?” Aaron asked.

“I can’t go back to her. She has to come to me. I’ve chased her for months and have done nothing but prove that I want her to be mine, and she’s pushed me away too many times. If I go back to her again, things will never change.”

“Well, then I guess the only thing you can do is wait and see what happens.” Aaron shrugged and took a pull of his beer.

Will smirked. “And drink with us, obviously.” His eyes drifted slowly around the bar, watching the crowd while he drank his beer. “Maybe take someone else home. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else and I can tell you don’t mind a little reverse cowgirl, do you, Whitlock?”

“Fuck you, William.” I rolled my eyes, but my tone was light and a grin threatened.

“Oh, sweetheart, you wish. I’d give you the ride of your life, that’s for sure,” he deadpanned. He pretended to tip an invisible hat in my direction. Presumably, an invisible cowboy hat. The bastard.

“Well, color me jealous. I want in on the action too.” Aaron chuckled and tossed his crumpled straw wrapper at me before taking a sip from his ice water.

I threw back the rest of my whiskey and slammed the empty glass onto the tabletop. “There are plenty of women for you guys to choose from for some action. Leave my dick out of it.”

“Aww, but your dick’s so pretty,” Aaron teased, making a kissy face at me.

Will’s boisterous laugher filled the air. “So thick and veiny,” he added, tossing me a wink.

“Quit making this weird.” Standing from my seat, I tilted my head toward their beer bottles. “Another round?”

They both nodded adamantly at me, chugging the rest of their drinks. Making my way toward the packed bar, I weaved through the crowd, avoiding eye contact by keeping my head down. I could feel several pairs of eyes on me while I leaned to the small gap, gesturing to the bartender that I was ready to order, deciding to double up so I wouldn’t have to do this again for at least an hour. All around me, tits were pushed up to their owners’ chins, and obnoxious, flirty laughter filled the air. Several light touches had already skated across my back in the twenty seconds I stood here.

It was going to be a long fucking night.

CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX

Ihad been forcing a smile all week long, but finally a genuine one formed at the sight of Ryder’s truck pulling into my driveway. I could see Jordan in the back seat beaming in my direction as I stood under the shade of my porch, waiting for my ex-husband to put the truck into park before I flew down the stairs toward my baby boy.

It had been a long couple of days without him, and I couldn’t wait to wrap him in a big hug.

Ryder and I had an “open door policy” in our arrangement with Jordan; if one of us wanted to see him and it wasn’t our day, we were always welcome. We just had to call first. I’d been tempted to take advantage of that this time, but neither one of us like to encroach on the others time with him. As far as co-parenting went, I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in it, and I even appreciated everything Ryder’s fiancée, Elle, has done for our son.

Elle and I grew up together and used to be close friends. Although it was challenging to have another woman in Jordan’s life, I knew I could trust her and that he was in excellent hands when it was just her and him. It still didn’t make my nights alone any easier, though, and there was a part of me that still mourned the loss of our family unit.

“Mom!” Jordan screamed as he hopped out of the back of his dad’s truck, slamming the door as he raced around the front.

“Hey, mister!” I caught him in a big mama bear hug and kissed him on top of his head. He smelled like his dad’s bath products, which made me wrinkle my nose in memory. I had gotten used to a different scent in the last few months.

Noah.

My heart ached at the thought, but I forced myself to push it to the back of my mind and be present with Jordan.