Page 11 of The Reality of Wanting Him
LM
Me too!
Simple, but it’s a response.And I added an exclamation point so that’s got to count for something.
I finish getting ready and make my way to the second bedroom to start my dates. There was a producer who stopped by yesterday to set some things up, and they left flash cards full of icebreaker questions. I didn’t use them with JR since the conversation flowed so naturally, but I think on my first date with AP, they might have used them a time or two. I wonder if I’ll need them with B, or if they’ll just talk about football again for the entire thirty minutes. I take a deep breath as I hear the distorted sound of the door closing coming from the speaker.
“Hello, L?” the robotic voice asks.
“Hi, B. I’m here,” I reply.
“I’m so excited to talk with you again. I’m glad we matched. I realized last time I talked so much, and I’d love to hear more about you this time.”
Interesting.They seem to be making an effort to balance the conversation, so that’s a good sign. Maybe they really were just nervous and talking about something that was easy for them. I can’t say I blame them. Speed dating so many people in one sitting was completely draining.
“That’s nice of you to say,” I reply, leaning back into the loveseat. “What do you want to know?”
“Anything, really,” B says, their enthusiasm bubbling through the voice distortion. “I realized after our first conversation that I barely know anything about you, but I left wanting to know more. So, tell me, what’s something you’re passionate about?”
“My farm, mostly,” I say. “It’s my whole life. I grew up helping my dad run it, and now I’m working on taking over full-time. It’s hard work, but I love it. It’s really important to me to find someone who understands and appreciates that.”
B makes what I assume is a thoughtful hum. “That’s really cool. Farm life sounds so interesting—like, you actually get tolive off the land and be self-sufficient. That’s gotta feel rewarding.”
I nod even though they can’t see me, but I know the cameras can. “It is. But it’s also exhausting in the best way; there’s always something that needs to be done. A lot of people romanticize the idea of farm life, but it’s not all front porch swings and sunsets over an open field.”
It sounds like B chuckles. “I love a good sunset, but I get that it’s real work. I spend a lot of my time helping my mom with charity work. I think that’s why I love sports so much, it’s my escape and my way of feeling like I’m part of something bigger.”
They help their mom with charity work?Maybe they don’t work since they didn’t mention anything about a job… I won’t bring that up yet, though. I’ve wondered how everyone else was able to drop everything and come on the show. It could be a touchy subject, maybe they had to quit or were fired if they couldn’t get the time off. The last thing I want is to make them feel uncomfortable.
“That makes sense. I think everyone needs something like that—an outlet,” I admit.
“Exactly! It’s less about the game and more about the experience. The connection, the energy, the people. That’s why I love it.”
It’s the first time I think I understand BB’s perspective. I still don’trelateto it, but at least now I’m able to move past it just reminding me of my ex. I think we both have outlets, just in different ways.
Admittedly, I probably should have an outlet thatisn’tthe farm because that’s where I spend most of my time, and it’s not exactly a hobby. It’s my job and my entire life. I guess I have woodworking, but that’s more to make extra cash during the winter when the farm is quiet even if I do like it. So I don’t know if I could call that a hobby.
I just haven’t foundmy thingyet. I don’t choose to go to thegym because I do enough physical activity on the farm, and that type of “working out” feels much better than spending my time trapped inside. I also don’t like sports—obviously—so I’ve never been interested in joining any adult leagues, despite my best friend John trying to convince me that his kickball beer league is a good time. He asked me almost every summer until he moved away. Maybe I’ll focus on finding a new hobby when I’m back, or maybe I’ll pick one up from my future partner I’m hoping to find on this show.The idea of doing something together sounds nice.
B pulls me out of my thoughts and surprises me when they say, “But enough about sports. We could do a lightning round with the cards they left in our rooms—might be fun. What do you think?”I like that they’re considering my wants and actually asking me, instead of assuming.
I pick up the pile of cards in my room and flip through them quickly. Nothing looks too bad, so I say, “Yeah, let’s do that.”
We take turns pulling cards, asking each other questions like, “What’s your love language?” and “What’s your biggest green flag in a partner?” The conversation starts feeling more like a fun game than an interrogation, which makes it easier.
Some of the questions dig a little deeper. “What’s a hard no for you in relationships?” and “Are you more of a go-with-the-flow dater or do you like to have a plan?” Others are more life-focused, leading us into easy back-and-forths. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet?” and “If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
Before I know it, we’ve gone through half the deck—not that it was a big deck—and the conversation actually feels effortless.Fun, even.
I learn that B’s love language is physical touch, while mine is acts of service. And based on my earlier thoughts, I’d say my second love language is likely quality time, just like his.
“Oh, so you’re the kind of person who’s always offering to do little things for your partner?” B asks. “Like planning a date, or cooking, or bringing your partner coffee, things like that?”
“I’d like to be,” I admit. “For me, it’s about showing I care by making life a little easier for the person I’m with. If I’m into you, I’m probably making sure the coffee is set the night before or planning meals and cooking so we don’t end up stuck in the constant ‘what’s for dinner’ debate.”
“That’s sweet,” B says. “I’ve got to admit, I’m not sure I’d be the best at that. I’m trying to do better, but I’ve been a little forgetful in the past, which I’m working on. I think it’ll be easier when I find the right person, though. For me, I just want to be close to them. Like, casual touches, cuddling, sitting next to each other on the couch, all of that. I’m usually snuggling with my dog whenever I’m at home, and I think I’m going through withdrawals already.” They laugh again.
Physical touch isn’t something Idislikeby any means, but it’s never been the first thing I look for in a relationship. It’s interesting how people show love in such different ways.
