Page 12 of The Reality of Wanting Him

We talk about their dog, Lucky, for a while, and I learn that B’s biggest green flag—other than getting along with Lucky—is someone who can communicate well, and that’s something we easily agree on. For me, it’s not just about talking—it’s about being open, honest, and willing to have the tough conversations. Emotional openness is just as important, and I know exactly where I got that from.

“My dad never believed in bottling things up. Growing up, he made sure I knew it was okay to express how I felt, whether I was frustrated, overwhelmed, or just needed to talk something out. He wasn’t one of those emotionally distant ‘toughen up’ types. If something was wrong, he’d sit with me, work through it, and remind me that ignoring your feelings doesn’t make them go away,” I tell B.

That’s probably why I have no patience for people who shutdown, or refuse to communicate, or simply lack depth.I don’t need constant emotional deep dives, but I do need honesty. A relationship should feel like a partnership, not a puzzle you’re trying to solve with half the pieces missing.

That also might be why I’ve had such a hard time dating in the real world because it always seems like everyone wants you to be a mind reader. Here, you actually have to talk about what you want, and I’ve really appreciated that part so far.

Another thing we agree on immediately is that a hard no in any relationship is lying. It’s one of the quickest ways for me to lose trust in someone, and B feels the same way.

Along with their admission that they’ve been forgetful in past relationships, B admits that they struggle with keeping up with time and that they’re sometimes late for things as a result.I appreciate the honesty.It’s refreshing to hear someone own up to a personal flaw instead of pretending they’ve got it all together. I’d rather know up front than be frustrated later when plans don’t happen on time.

Where I love to plan, B says they like to be spontaneous, which I can see. They seem like the type of person who loves to chase experiences without worrying about logistics. Not sure how that would translate to farm life, but they didn’t hate the idea of hard work when I mentioned it, so maybe that’s a good sign.

“So, if I said, ‘hey, pack a bag, we’re leaving in an hour for a surprise trip,’ that’d stress you out?” B asks.

All I can do is laugh and confirm that I’d beverystressed. “It’s not that I need a down-to-the-minute itinerary, I can go with the flow, but the farm makes it hard to just drop everything and walk away. Coming on this show was already a huge step for me, and leaving my dad to handle things without me wasn’t easy, even though he swore it was fine. I’m grateful I didn’t leave him hanging completely, but I still stress about it,” I admit.

There’s a high schooler who lives down the street who isalways looking for extra cash. He’s been our go-to for years, ever since he first knocked on our door at fourteen asking if we needed an extra set of hands. Most of the properties around ours are no longer functioning farms like they were fifty years ago. When he first started, he had no experience, but he was eager to learn, and I’ve spent quite a bit of time showing him how everything works. He wasn’t lying about wanting to put in the work, and now he probably knows just as much as I do. Anytime we need someone to fill in, he’s the first person we call. It makes being away slightly less stressful, even though there isn’t much going on right now since it’s winter, but knowing my dad isn’t handling everything alone makes me feel better.

The conversation keeps shifting between different topics without the awkward pauses or one-sided conversation from our first date. It’s easier this time, and before I know it, the thirty-minute timer buzzes.

How fast it felt catches me off guard.I can’t believe how much more I enjoyed this date with them. I’d definitely been too quick to write them off and I’m glad I followed my gut and gave them a second chance.

After this final structured round, the rules change again. There are no more timers or “forced” conversations with our picks. We’ll be able to talk to whoever we want, for as long as we want. In a few days, there will be another formal ‘ranking’ that will result in us having a smaller list of contestants to continue talking to. They want to try to encourage us to focus on finding our one match, but until then, how we spend our time is up to us.

And to my complete surprise,I think I’m actually looking forward to planning another date with B.

9

BLAKE

Producers:What’s something your future spouse might see as a red flag?

Blake:I can't cook, like at all. Let's hope they fall in love with my personality and don't mind takeout.

Was that seriously the timer already? Damn.That went by quickly. Before our date started, I was a little worried that LM would be more reluctant to talk after they admitted to being overwhelmed by the process last night. Lucky for me, they must have had some renewed energy today because that was probably the best date I’ve had so far.

There’s something about them that seems so much morerealthan the other contestants. While everyone has been nice, I’m still having to refer to my notes to remember the details about what we’ve talked about for most of them. Not LM though. We’ve covered some important topics already, and I remember them all.

Hopefully I didn’t turn them off too much by being so honest about my struggles in pastrelationships—being late and forgetful aren’t exactly selling points. Some people find that kind of thing charming, but others? Not so much.Maybe my mother was onto something, and I can blame all the hits I’ve taken to the head when they eventually find out I used to play football.

Football has been such a huge part of my life beyond just watching it, but I know I can’t say that yet, not on the show. The fact that I was drafted would give away my gender and that would defeat the purpose of this whole experiment.I definitely don’t want to risk getting kicked off for breaking the rules. Still, it feels weird to hold back something that was my entire life for so long—like I’m being honest about everythingexceptthe one thing that probably shaped me the most.

L said honesty is really important to them, and it is to me too, that’s why I wanted to be as real as I could tonight. The last thing I want is for them to feel like I’m hiding things. I know the truth about football will come out eventually, but for now, I just hope that what I did share was enough to show I’m serious about this—about talking with them, and about what this is becoming.

And if they decide my flaws are deal breakers…well, I guess I’d rather they know now than be blindsided later.

I love the idea of a partner cooking for me or doing small acts of service like that to show they care, but I didn’t want to give them the wrong impression about what I bring to a relationship. There’s a chance that I just haven’t been with the right person yet, and that’s why it’s been hard for me to remember the “little things,” but I’ve also never been particularly good at that stuff for friends either. I don’t want to be a disappointment if it’s what they’re expecting.

Although, LM didn’t seem like they wanted their partner to show love the same way they were describing. If anything, I got the sense that they’d rather be the one doing the acts of service. And when I talked about liking the idea of spending a lot of time with my future partner, and how I like to show affection in more physical ways, they didn’t seem put off by it either.

This was my final date of this round, which means the next couple of days are less structured. We can schedule as much time as we want for these more formal date calls when we come into this room, but now we’re also able to message or call directly from our phones through the app, which still changes our voice.

Before we go back to our apartments, I want to figure out LM’s preferred method of communication. “Hey, before we go, I’d love to keep talking with you if you’re open to it,” I say.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that too,” LM responds, and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“I know yesterday was a lot, and I want to respect your boundaries as much as possible, so how should I contact you? Would you prefer to schedule more dates in here, or would you rather message in the app? We can even message first and see if the other person is free for a call from our phones now too,” I suggest, kind of rambling as I tell them things they already know.Why am I so nervous right now? They already said they want to keep talking.

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