Page 99 of Volatile

My body deflates and I slip down out of his hold. My ass hits the floor, and my head falls back, resting against the wall. He follows me, he always follows me, and he picks me up to sit over his thighs with his back pressed flat against the tile.

“I’ve got you, look at me.” The soft coaxing voice brushes my hairline as the painful numbness takes over.

I shake my head and watch the water race down his bicep, his T-shirt is sticking to his skin, and his shorts will be soaked, but he strokes my hair back and my guilt takes over.

“I fucked up,” I admit. “I should have known that I got her phone too easily. It’s why I couldn’t find the house; they’d changed the location because I took her phone.”

The gentleness doesn’t leave as he kisses my cheek and blocks the spray from raining down on my face. His lips brush my ear as he begs me to listen to him. “No, sweetness, you didn’t fuck up, they’re sick cunts, and you are good. No one can guess how they think because we’re not like them.”

I open my mouth to argue but he cuts me off as he holds me tighter.

“If you want to play the blame game, put it on me. I didn’t hear them around us, I didn’t think of wearing a mask, I couldn’t fight them off. But you, my sweetness, didn’t do anything wrong, you were trying to help in an evil world.”

My tears escape, mixing with the water on my skin and I wrap my arms around his neck. We both take a collective breath and hold it. The next words out of his mouth are entirely on the topic I’ve refused to give a voice to.

“You’re allowed to grieve, however you want, if blood will make it easier for you then that’s what you’ll get.” He kisses my cheek again and leans back to look at me before adding, “Or we can hide away from the world right here. Whatever you need.”

The imbalance just makes the guilt grow and my voice is weak as I ask, “What doyouneed?”

He smiles as I bring my hand to his cheek and stroke the top of his cheekbones. There’s no dopey smile, but it slowly curves, and he says one word as though it’s everything. “You.” Then kisses my palm and waits for me to argue. I’m a bitch, I know I am, but I try not to be and nod once.

Vitali’s smile gets a fraction wider as he softly kisses me. We don’t move from our seated position, and he slowly pushes his hand up the back of the T-shirt sticking to my skin. His palm is flat between my shoulder blades, and he breathes easier. My fingers start to prune, and I move back to stand but he holds me tighter.

“Your fancy products won’t help your skin drying out if we stay here any longer.” My joke is off, there’s no lightness to it, but he smiles and stands with me still in his arms.

We’ve undressed each other on multiple occasions. Now, we do it with care and even though there’s still desire because he’s beautiful inside and out neither of us are motivated by it. Once we’ve removed each other’s wet clothes he pulls me to him, wraps his arms around my lower back, and my hands automatically go to his chest as he allows some of his usual playfulness to come back.

“I’m going to turn gray with you, we’ll point out each other’s wrinkles, and I can’t fucking wait for the day I get to see smile lines on your cheeks.”

A low laugh shakes my chest as I ignore everything outside of this moment. “That’s unlikely, puppy, I’ve worked hard to make sure I don’t get them.”

He hums and massages down my back to hold my ass without squeezing as he says, “And I’m going to spend my life working harder to put them there. I’m going to give you a life so fucking good that you’re forced to smile, then, when you’re old and gray, I’ll count them lines like medals of honor because it means I achieved it.”

I melt against his chest and tuck my head below his chin with my arms wrapped around his middle.

He shuts off the spray and guides us out even though I don’t want to move, and he doesn’t force me away as he dries us both and squeezes the excess water out of my hair. He only makes me loosen my arms to wrap a robe around me then manages to walk into the closet with me still wrapped around him. It doesn’t change as he puts on a pair of shorts, and I unwrap myself when he walks towards the door. He grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together and pulls me in front of him.

The sun has come up and little footsteps mix with the dripping of water as Verena walks through the space, hyper focused on the cup between both of her hands. She beams up at us and holds the cup out in offering to her uncle.

He plugs joy into his voice as he asks her, “What have you made, Verochka?”

“Tea.” She tries to show him but the water spills over the edge. There are leaves and little blades of grass stuck inside the cup, and she frowns at her feet when they get wet.

Vitali doesn’t let go of me as he walks towards her and picks her up to sit on his hip. She’s still staring at her feet and scowling while he kisses her cheek and gently says, “It was probably better on the floor, Vero. Did you get it out of the pool again?”

She shakes her head and hands me the cup as we get in the elevator. “No, Papa said pool no safe. Viktor help me do tea.”

Whatever was inside definitely wasn’t edible and it wasn’t tea, there’s mud stuck to the bottom of the cup, but Vitali just hums and kisses the top of her head. “Don’t trust that little shit Viktor to help you, okay?”

She’s cute as she wriggles her toes to stop her wet socks sticking to her skin and I ask, “Do you want me to take them off for you?”

Rather than answer, the little princess sticks her foot out and I can’t help my laugh as I gently remove her socks. “You’re like your mama when she was younger.”

Verena smiles and ends up headbutting her uncle as she rests her cheek on his jaw. “You know baby mama?”

I nod and ball her socks so I have something to do with my hands.

“Yeah, I knew your mama when she was little. She would boss everyone around and tell us how to play with our toys.”

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