Page 110 of Secondhand Smoke
“So hot.” Her hands grabbed the bottom of his black shirt, dipping under to slide along the leather of his belt. She could just—
Soft palms stopped her and pulled her away. “Damn, how much did you drink?”
Nell pouted. She’d hate to spoil the mood with the truth.
“Oh my god, you didn’t tell me you knew him.” Elvira popped up out of nowhere, once again graciously saving her from having to come up with a lie.
Barrett jumped, shooting Nell a questioning look from the corner of his eye. Nell bit her lip and giggled.
“I’m Tina! You guys totally rock. My friend’s been following you guys for weeks. This is my second time.” Tina, apparently her real name was, turned to Nell. “You one of the groupies?”
Barrett’s arm slid around her waist. “My girlfriend, actually.”
Nell froze and turned to Barrett. She couldn’t feel her face well enough to tell, but she figured she was grinning like an absolute fool.
“Oh shit.” Tina laughed. “My friend is gonna throw a fit when she finds out.”
Somewhere between the word “girlfriend” and Tina calling what must be her friend’s name, Barrett guided Nell out of the dark room, into an equally dark hallway that was quieter and less packed with people.
Her ears were ringing.
“How about we go back to the motel? I think I’d prefer you pass out there than here.”
She didn’t want to. She wanted to stay and dance and sing along gibberish to rock songs she didn’t actually know the words to, but she could skip that for now.
For her boyfriend.
She giggled again, uncontrollably.
“Okay, let’s go.”
She barely noticed she was in a car, her head out the window, listening to Barrett’s music and holding his hand.
Luckily, the motel was close.
The high was plummeting when they pulled into the parking lot.
She’d never realized how short a blow’s high would be. It hadn’t been even thirty minutes since Tina had kindly walked her through it, and Nell was already feeling the pit growing in her stomach. The car’s movement made her queasy as regret started to settle in.
Barrett was right. It was a good thing he’d pulled her away.
The only thing that kept her from a sudden emotional rock bottom was that word again: girlfriend. That was a different kind of high. It lingered well past the point of climbing out of the car and into bed.
“Take it easy next time, okay? Had me worried for a bit there.” Barrett pulled the blanket over her, making sure she was comfortable. She’d denied a shower, not having the energy anymore to be able to stand in it.
Nell buried her face into her pillow and groaned.
God, she felt awful, like when you woke from a nice dream and realized it was all fake. The wash of dread and regret was fresh. Plus the guilt.
As amazing as it had been, she knew how Barrett felt about cocaine. Maybe she should tell him and promise never to do it again.
The mattress dipped under his weight, and a soft brush of fingers pushed strands of her hair behind her ear.
No, it was a one-time thing. As long as she promised herself to never do it again, he didn’t need to know.
“Come lie with me,” she said instead. That was better. That was easier.
His hand paused, then disappeared. Her face was still in the pillow as she listened to him shuffle to the other side of the bed and move around. She imagined him pulling off his shoes, sliding his jacket off, and dropping it to the floor.
