Page 116 of Mate to the Alpha Predator

"No." He replied in a low voice at last.

Ismena didn't know she was holding her breath till she heard that part. "Oh, thank God."

"But she began menstruating." He added in a pained tone, "Which proved the theories and rumors right. If I'd touched my sister again, there is every chance that I would get her pregnant. I knew that. The scientists knew that. And Nalaila must have realized that too."

"Oh my God..." Her hands covered her mouth, "Did they...?"

"No. When the drugs to be in wolf form wore off, Nalaila never shifted from her wolf-form again. That frustrated the scientists to no end and killed me a little more inside everyday."

The pain in those cold blue-eyes was visible even as he stared out into the night. "She remained in wolf-form, no matter how many drugs they pumped into her to shift. She lost the willpower to shift...till today. It's been eighteen years."

Tears blurred Ismena's eyes, clouding her throat and making it hard to speak. How did he live with such gut-wrenching pain for eighteen years?

"Where is she now...? Your sister?"

"Third floor. Last bedroom. Never ever go there, Ismena, or anywhere close to that part of the tower. Nalaila hates even the slightest smell of humans."

And who can blame her? Ismena thought miserably.

"After we broke out of there, Nalaila was so close to becoming a Wild One. She hurt people...almost killed a female. She...was feral." He said that word like it choked him, "If she ever hunts and kills any innocent changeling, she will be put to death like a Wild One. So, father had to lock her up in that room so she would not break out again." Curt tone that almost hid agony. Almost.

"I am so sorry." Even that sounded inadequate to her own ears. The tears wouldn't stop coming either. "What about your parents...?"

Shrugging her hand away from his shoulder like he couldn't bear to be touched, he stated, "It was too much for my mother to bear...all of it, especially what happened to Nalaila. What became of her little girl.." A pause, "She took her own life on the fifth day after we returned."

Ismena gasped. Shaky hands rose to cover her mouth.

All the stars in the sky have disappeared and the sight of the halfmoon was almost invisible, Wolfaraine observed. The night is now dark. Lightless. Pitch blackness.

Like his heart. His soul.

"A mate's death is like losing a huge part of yourself. The pain is unbearable. Insurmountable." He continued, "My father fell sick. The best doctors and physicians of Naturiah did everything they could to savehim..."

"But they couldn't...?" She whispered as fresh tears left her eyes. God, she hurts for this male. This strong changeling in front of her that has known the most painful pain nobody should ever know in this life.

His head bobbed once. "Everybody knew what was killing him. It takes willpower and inner-strength to survive after your mate dies but my father didn't have any, because he has lost his will to live. My mother was his life." Blue eyes glazed over with memories. "He followed months later."

"God..!" Ismena cried. God, she can't imagine herself.

"You are the strongest male I have ever met." She admitted tearfully.

He shook his head slowly. His head was beginning to pound. With the memories revived and fresh in his head, his head was beginning to bang like a horse was stomping hard in his brain.

But then again, it is nothing compared to what he is feeling in his heart. Not even the wounds on his body compared.

He wished he never revived all those dark wells of pain that is the past. Wished he never twisted the doorknob that held all the darkness inside him in a leech.

Finally, he turned back to her. "I hurt you with my words in the evening, especially after you risked your life throwing yourself in my way when I was in cougar-form. You saved me from going over the deep ends and all I did about that was to hurt you with my blunt words and make you feel unwanted. I felt very bad about it."

His eyes met hers. "The truth is that if I did that confrontation all over again, my answers would still be the same. But it is not because I find you undesirable. I want you too much, and that is the problem." He did not expect this pull between them to be so strong.

"I... understand." And she did. It hurts because her life is on the line here, but opening himself up to her helped her to understand all too clearly, the impossibility of her situation from all around.

Indeed, I will die in a few weeks.

He continued, "I do not want to mate anybody, both human or changeling. Once the mating ritual is performed, the female MUST get pregnant if she isn't already pregnant through their intimacy before the ritual. The mating ritual is nothing to joke with and its bond always creates a child on that night. Always."

it was all the truth, although that is only but one reason why he does not want a mate.

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