Page 33 of Mahogany 1

I dragged my hands down my face with a low growl. “Aubr?—”

“Yes, daddy?” Aubry answered, standing in the doorway with a frown on her face. “Why is the DJ pulling up? I thought the party was off. Mom called and said?—”

“The party ain’t off!” I yelled, sizing her up. “That’s what you wearin’? Look man, find something else to wear. Today yo’ momma birthday and you wearin’ black leggings and a big ass shirt again. Don’t you got something nice? Shit man, I gotta find clothes for all of y’all? You damn near grown.”

Instead of answering me, she just gave me a weird look and walked away. I was no Mahogany. Couldn’t handle this as swiftly as she could. I told myself I was having a hard time because I was stressed but I knew it was?—

“Daddy. I can’t fit it,” said Sparkle, showing up in the doorway.

“And I don’t even like dresses,” Honesty mumbled, making her way out of the bedroom to change in the bathroom.

I followed her with my eyes, tempted to say something to her, but instead I addressed Sparkle’s issue. Didn’t want to. Had been hard as hell to look her in the eyes but she was my daughter, and I was in charge, so I had to swallow what I was going through.

“Yeah, it is a little short,” I said, tugging on her dress. “What size you wear?”

She tilted her head to the side. “Huh?”

I lightly laughed and ran my hand over the top of her head. “Never mind. Ay, look I’m going to find?—”

“Can I pick out my own clothes daddy!” She excitedly asked, jumping up and down as usual.

With my mouth turned down, I shrugged. “Yeah, go for it. Show me before you?—”

Before I could finish my sentence, she ran off. Standing, I rubbed my forehead and took a deep breath. Tossing my head back against the bedroom door, I sighed again, fighting the urge to cry. Hell yeah, I was on that type of time. I didn’t know what I was doing. She told me to cancel the party but because I refused to believe she wouldn’t come, I didn’t. As the time continued to tick down, I was worried about how I was going to handle all of these muthafuckas when they came expecting to see Mahogany.

I got ahead of myself.

Was afraid to cancel it because shit… what would I say to them? She didn’t feel good? She wasn’t in the mood? If she didn’t feel good, her people would come by, checking on her. If she wasn’t in the mood, she’d piss a lot of people off. We had family coming from Ohio, service providers and shit coming.

“Dad,” Gabe said, interrupting me from my thoughts. “Where my momma at?”

Last night, while we were at it, Gabe walked in on us arguing. Scene looked sketchy as fuck because Mahogany had just knocked a wine bottle on the floor. He was worried and had every right to be so instead of checking him about his tone, I let it slide.

I looked down at him. “At work?—”

“No she not,” he interrupted with a deep frown. “What happened last night? You hit her?”

“Lil’ nigga what?” I snapped with wide eyes. “What you just ask me, G?”

“I asked if you hit my momma,” he repeated, glancing over his shoulder before stepping forward. “Did you?”

I laughed. Lil’ nigga was tripping, wasn’t he? Stepping to me like I wouldn’t knock his lil’ ass out.

Pushing up away from the door, I stood over him. Gabe was fourteen and already about five, seven. I didn’t give a fuck about how tall he was, or if he’d get bigger than me or not, checking me about his momma—my wife wasn’t gone fly. I respected how he wanted to protect her, but he didn’t need to. I had her. Would never put my fucking hands on her. The most I’d ever done was choke her ass up when she was tripping, or we were fucking. Other than that, nothing. And last night I had done neither. I wanted to put my hands on her bad as hell because she got reckless as hell with her mouth and mushed me in my face a couple times. But I let it slide because shit, I deserved worse.

“Nah, I didn’t hit your momma, G. I would never?—”

“Where she at then?” He asked, his face softening to a sad expression. “It’s her birthday and she ain’t even here. Something happened. You gotta tell me the truth. Because last night ain’t sitting right with me, dad.”

I locked eyes with him and placed my hand on his shoulder. “Grown up, shit, alright? Just… chill and know that I’ll never put hands on your momma. I’m trying to fix it.”

Gabe stood there a minute with his eyes locked on mine, silent. After I stepped forward again and chucked my chin a little he stepped back, nodded and said, “Alright dad. I think you should cancel the party. I’m just sayin… she facetimed us and told us it was canceled. I just don’t know why you still doin’ stuff.”

He was confused.

They were confused.

Shit, I was confused.

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