Page 33 of Rampant

“Dad said you’d leave me alone.” I cleared my throat and infused my tone with a dauntless edge I didn’t feel. “You can’t hurt me anymore. Too many people are watching.”

“Especially the guy to your right. The one in the Beaver’s hat and dark sunglasses? He’s practically got his tongue hanging out.”

Standing in ninety-degree weather, I shivered as if snow blanketed the ground. I’d meant the public in general, even the police, since they suspected I’d left out parts of the story. Slowly, I turned and found a man matching Zach’s description watching me. He looked away the instant he realized I’d caught him staring. But he wasn’t the real threat.

The real threat lingered somewhere nearby, preying on my fear. I scoured both sides of the street but found nothing. Just normal people going about their business. Numerous shops, cafes, and businesses lined the row, and Zach could be in any one of them right now, ogling me with the eyes of a wolf.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “But I’m not here to hurt you. I just had to see you. I had to know you were okay.”

“Why?” I fisted my left hand. “You didn’t care if I was ‘okay’ when you beat me, when you raped me, when you sliced me up with your fucking knife.”

“I fucked up, Lex. I know I went too far.”

“You went too far ten years ago. What you did in that cabin was a hundred levels past deranged.”

I heard him suck in a breath. “It wasn’t always bad between us. After Rafe went away, you wanted me.”

“Ineverwanted that. Get that through your head.” My gaze veered left and right, cheeks flaming at having this conversation in public, but there was no way in hell I’d do this in an isolated area. “I despise myself for what we did, for what I did to him. I couldn’t even control my own damn body, Zach.”

“Please, Lex. I’m dying without you. It’ll be different this time. Dad’s making sure I’m getting treatment. I haven’t had a drink since that night. Please—”

“Stop!” I began pacing, though I never stopped searching my surroundings. A group of college-aged kids came out of the restaurant and bumped into me. Instead of becoming irritated, I welcomed their proximity.

Stupid, Alex. Go back inside and tell Evelyn. Get help.

“You can’t just say ‘I’m sorry’ after everything. It doesn’t work like that.” I should know—sorry hadn’t worked on Rafe.

“I know.” He sighed. “But I love you. I want you back. Can we just sit down somewhere and talk?”

“Even if I didn’t think of you like my brother”—I lowered my voice—“I could never be with someone who did what you did.” The hypocrisy of my words pinged through my head. Rafe had done acts deemed unforgivable too, but I didn’t feel the same way toward him. My heart wanted what it wanted, despite logic or reason, despite right or wrong. I supposed in that aspect, I could relate to Zach.

My chest tightened, squeezing the air from my lungs. I also understood why Rafe couldn’t forgive me.

“I’ll do anything,” he said, his plea high-pitched and awash with regret. “Please, forgive me. You’re the only thing in this world I care about.”

Unable to speak, I ended the call with a press of a button then walked inside the restaurant, passing by people that blurred around me. They didn’t seem real.Ididn’t seem real.

“Everything okay?” Evelyn asked.

I shook my head. “My dad…” I cleared the fear constricting my throat. “My dad needs me home. He’s got the flu or something.” I let out an awkward laugh. “He’s a big baby.” For perfecting the art of lying, I sure sucked at it now.

She tilted her head. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.” I forced my lips into a smile. “Just family stuff. Can I get a rain check?”

“Sure, but I’m holding you to it.” She pulled me into a hug. “You can call me anytime.”

“I know.”

We parted ways out front, and as soon as she got in her SUV and pulled away, I scurried back inside the restaurant and reclaimed my seat at the table, body shaking as I deliberated on what to do. I was scared to walk to my own car. I gazed out the window at the new Volvo parked by the curb on the side of the restaurant. Dad bought it last week to replace the one destroyed by the river, once I agreed to the appointments with the shrink.

Someone slid into the chair Evelyn had vacated, making me jump. Zach’s hazel eyes stared back.

“Don’t freak out and make a scene,” he said. “I just want to talk to you.” He must have taken my stunned silence as permission to continue. And to touch me. His hand crept across the table and clamped around mine, like a snake constricting the life from my fingers. “I never meant for things to go so far.”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. A voice screeched in my head, demanding that I do something. Knock my barely touched salad on the floor, tip over a glass of water. Shout for help. For the love of God, at least remove my hand from his grip.

Instead, I sat like a statute, barely breathing.

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