Page 65 of Somewhere We Belong

“Get out,” she said, looking over at Theo.

“Nova, we?—”

“Get out,” she whispered, as the first tear fell.

Footsteps walked down the hallway as I stood up seeing Atlas at the door.

“Temperature?” he asked, walking to Nova with his medical bag.

“She just threw up,” I said, as I studied Nova’s face, more tears streaming down her face.

“I don’t need help,” Nova’s lip trembled. “We've done this before?—”

“Let me just check you out and we can leave,” he said professionally. “We can’t have you getting dehydrated or worse, your temperature spiking too high. When was the last time either of you had a Motrin or Tylenol?”

Atlas went to work as I went into the bathroom. I cleaned up and found the source of the smell. Some sheets were on the floor. I picked them up and took them to her washer. I got the load started as I picked up a little around her house, wondering how the hell she did this all on her own.

Theo walked out of the room, stoically, as he passed by me going to the kitchen. I didn’t even know how he was doing, but he looked better than when I had gotten here.

“What if we hadn’t shown up?” he asked absentmindedly, tapping his thumb to each of his fingers. “She’s just as sick as Sol and if she didn’t have anyone, what would have happened? She just suffers while taking care of her child? How does she do this, all this worrying?”

“Women are incredible,” I said, seeing my own mother in a new light. “She does it because she has no choice.”

He nodded like I gave him something to think about, still tapping his fingers. I continued picking up and he washed some dishes. We worked in silence as I tried to distract myself from hovering. Atlas came out of the room.

“They aren’t doing well, and I need you guys to go to the store.” He ran his hand through his hair, thoughtfully.

He gave Theo and I a list with instructions. We got into my car, and I felt better having something to do.

“I don’t want Nova to have to go through this alone,” Theo muttered, looking at his hands in his lap. “I’m also terrified that if this doesn’t work, we will have to sit on the sidelines while she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders.”

I didn’t know what to say to that and it terrified me that that could be a possibility.

20

nova

Beingsick with your child sucks. Colds, flu, infections I can get through, but getting the stomach flu felt like the universe was punishing me for something. Waking up to hear your child say, ‘Mommy I threw up’ was awful, and when I started to throw up, it was the fucking icing on the cake.

Nothing was more embarrassing than having the men you like come into your dirty house that probably smelled like vomit, only to have to take care of you and your daughter. I felt ashamed and no matter what they told me, I still felt bad even though I knew they had saved us.

The room was dark as I took inventory of how I felt. Foggy memories of the guys coming in and helping us flooded my consciousness. I’m sure it wasn’t a pretty sight. I’m not sure what I did to deserve these men, but it was obvious that the universe thought I needed balance, so she gave us the stomach flu.

I reached out for Sol, but the bed was empty, and I quickly got up, feeling woozy at the sudden change. My stomach churned as I dreaded throwing up again. I took a deep breath, exhaled, slowly hoping the nausea would pass. My throat wasraw from god knows how many times I had thrown up. I turned slowly, setting my feet down to feel someone.

“Oh my god, Sol!” I yelled, except it wasn’t my daughter, it was Theo.

He sat up quickly.

“Are you ok, is she ok?” he asked.

“I don’t know, she’s not in my bed,” I said, looking down at him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, she's in the living room with Atlas,” he said, rubbing his face.

“Does she look better?” I asked, as I glanced at the clock that said it was eight in the morning.

“Yeah, she was up at six and Atlas got up with her,” he yawned.

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