Page 66 of Somewhere We Belong

“Theo, did you sleep there all night?”

“Just a few hours,” he said, getting up. “Atlas was in here when Sol woke up, so we switched.”

“You… you didn’t have to do that,” I said, feeling my heart constrict.

“I didn’t feel comfortable leaving you.” He shrugged. “Are you ok? Need something?”

Theo looked nervous as I noticed him tapping his fingers.

“I need a shower. I feel gross and I probably need to air out the house,” I said, stretching my neck.

“Go shower, I got everything else,” he said, holding out his hand to me.

“You’ve done enough.” I took his hand, and he helped me get up. “I can do it.”

My cheeks grew red, embarrassment and guilt sat heavily on me.

“Go shower,” he said, and turned me around and led me to the shower.

I followed him, not knowing what else to say. How long would they stick around until they realized having a kid was a lot of work and getting sick was an occurrence that happened all too often.

Theo turned the shower on for me as I went to the sink to grab my toothbrush. I noticed it was a lot cleaner than I remembered and it smelled like the lemon cleaning spray I used.

Oh god, they probably cleaned up some vomit I missed while I tried to clean. Poor Sol didn’t make it to the toilet a few times. Jesus Christ, we hadn’t even started dating and they were having to deal with all of this.

“Nova?”

Theo startled me.

“You ok?” He touched my forehead.

“Yup,” I muttered, my mouth full of toothpaste and as I rinsed my mouth, I felt the need for some space as panic clawed its way up my throat.

I didn’t even think about taking off my sleep shirt as I walked into the shower.

“Holler if you need anything,” Theo said.

He lingered, but I couldn’t say anything. The door shut shortly afterwards as I finally felt like I could take a big breath. This was what I had dreamt of when I thought about a man who could possibly be my partner. Someone who could help us and be there for us in our time of need, who thought about Sol as often as they thought about me.

So why was I freaking out?

Because they always leave.

I rolled my eyes at myself, feeling dramatic. But if they left, it would be triple the heartache and I barely survived when Sol’s father left us. What would happen when they were no longer in our lives?

The shower felt refreshing, but the heavy thoughts in my head only felt like a burden. Once I scrubbed myself enough and washed my hair, I got out of the shower, leisurely getting ready. I opened the door to keep an ear out for Sol, even though I didn’t need to worry about her. I changed into a big shirt and some shorts and brushed out my hair, I came out to a clean bedroom with new sheets, and the bed was made.

Dammit, Theo. I swear he’s been watching out for us since Sol was born.

“Come on, little girl,” I said, swaying side-to-side as Sol cried.

We were in the small grocery store picking up food I desperately needed. I had been putting it off for a couple of days because she had been so fussy, but I couldn’t survive on just crackers and ramen. Breastfeeding made me ravenous.

“I just need twenty minutes, please,” I whispered, feeling overwhelmed.

“Can… Can I help?” I looked over to see Theodore looking nervous.

He was my neighbor, but he didn’t talk very much.

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