Page 29 of Silver Fox's Twin Surprise

The emotion in her voice made me cry harder. I hated this. I wanted my life to be normal without disruptions. I wanted Cole to figure out whatever it was he was going through and help me with this. If he supported me, I wouldn't have to move back home and leave Alana alone. I wouldn't have to feel like I was doing this entirely on my own, either, and I wouldn't be freaking out.

"I don't know, Alana. I need my mom, I think. I've never been pregnant or even thought about it. I don't know what to expect or how to feel. You have to understand… You’d want your mom around too." I frowned as I shoved more ice cream in my mouth and tried not to think about all my hopes and dreams going up in flames.

Alana set her ice cream down and reached for the unopened tissue box and tore the plastic wrap off it and opened it. She handed me a few and kept one for herself. I didn't even realize she was crying until she dabbed her eyes, and I felt horrible. This wasn't just going to affect me. It was already affecting her too. My poor choice one night in the back seat of a car was going to upset everything in my life and the people I cared about.

The next day, Alana came home from work early. I took the day off and slept in. I made my first sonogram appointment to make sure my little guy was doing okay, but it came with heavy emotions. It shouldn't have been my roommate and practically new best friend driving me to the appointment. Cole should’ve been here. He should be the one supporting me, but he was too busy with whatever stress it was weighing him down to even have a conversation with me.

"You ready?" Alana asked as we got out of the car and headed into the clinic. She held my hand and squeezed it, and I looked her in the eye nervously. I wasn't ready, but I didn't get a choice. Time marched forward without restraint and I was struggling to keep up.

I nodded, and we walked in. I didn't even have to wait for a few minutes before the nurse called us back. She led us to asmall exam room with a single table and a machine with a large computer screen.

"You can set your purse there," she said, gesturing at the counter, "and go ahead and climb up there. You'll want to undo your button on your jeans and pull your shirt up." Her smile was cheery.

I imagined she was probably used to doing this test on mothers who planned their pregnancies and who had their partner with them. I felt sick in the stomach over it, wishing Cole were here, but I just knew if he was too stressed to deal with his own life as it was, he'd never manage this on top of all of that.

I climbed on the exam table and lay down, unbuttoning my pants. Then I pulled my shirt up over my belly, exposing it to the chilled air of the air-conditioned room. Alana stood by me with her hand gripping mine and smiling down at me reassuringly as the nurse approached with gloved hands.

"Are you two ready for baby to come?" she asked happily, and I winced.

"Uh, we're not together," I told her. She was probably used to that too, and that made Alana snicker. "The father isn’t in the picture." My eyes threatened to well up as I made that pronouncement. It felt like the deathblow to any hope I had of Cole finally reaching out to me and trying to make things right after he bit my head off.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. You never know these days," she said, placing the wand on my stomach. The gel she applied to the end of it was cold, making me shiver, and almost instantly, we heard a faint heartbeat. "Well lookie there. This little guy is happy to see you."

The nurse turned the monitor so I could see the distant outline of a baby's head and body. I wasn't great at making out the rest of the image, but I could see the round head and smiled. It wasn't scary at all. It was exactly how I pictured it and it started to warm my heart. I was going to be a mom. It was something I always wanted, just maybe not like this.

Alana squealed quietly and patted my shoulder, and I couldn't help the smile creeping across my face. It was a sweet moment hearing the heartbeat for the first time. I thought I would feel more scared or nervous, but it was beginning to calm me down as I accepted that motherhood was in my future.

"So, can you tell what it is?" Alana asked, and I looked up at the nurse's expression of surprise.

"Uh…" she said, looking down at me with a huge grin.

"So, can you?" I asked too, suddenly curious to know whether I'd have a boy or a girl.

"Well, I can't tell you the sex but I can tell something else." Her grin only got larger as she pointed to the monitor. I was curious, so I watched her fingers. "See this dark spot?"

"Yeah," I told her, squinting. It felt like she'd zoomed out.

"And this one?" she said, moving her finger to another spot on the screen.

I didn't understand what she was saying but suddenly, I didn't feel so good. My eyes focused and unfocused as she finagled the wand and suddenly, I thought the heartbeat was echoing.

"Two?" Alana said softly.

"Yes, two. Ms. Williams, you're having twins." The nurse's statement took my breath and left me heaving. I turned over the side of the bed, and Alana darted out of the way as I threw up.

Twins?

It hit my chest like a ton of bricks and I choked on my own vomit. I couldn't have twins. I could barely wrap my mind around one baby. How would I ever do two at once? This couldn't be happening. I needed Cole—now.

23

COLE

My feet shuffled on the blacktop as I bounced the ball. I felt weak, probably dehydration and fatigue. I'd been drinking more, which made me sleep less and stress more too. I hadn't taken a surgery in a week. Rose hadn’t responded to any of my messages in days. I was full of anger and out of whiskey and I knew if I didn’t stop, I was going to do permanent damage. I felt worse than I had days after Kate died with no outlet for the stress.

"Ya game's off!" Juan said, swiping the ball from me. He dribbled effortlessly around me and took a shot. The ball soared through the hoop and hit the net with a swoosh, and I scowled again and jogged over to the baseline to pick up the ball.

"Shut up," I growled, sick of his taunting. He'd been picking on me over my lack of coordination today, and I hated it. I wasn't a sore loser at all. I just had too much on my mind and I'd been drowning my emotions in alcohol instead of dealing with them, which only let them bottle up. I couldn't help it that they chose today to start leaking out.

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