Page 52 of If It Can't Be Us

Tuesday, November 28

I walk through the kitchen area of the Marioni’s home in Naperville, meticulously checking every detail. “The framing looks really good, Nick. I’m impressed with how you’re keeping things on track despite the weather,” I say, smiling despite the hard hat that’s matting down my hair. Nick, on the other hand, looks rugged and handsome in his hard hat. Why do men always look so good—no, almost sexy—in construction attire?

The framing was just completed over the weekend, and I’m meeting Nick to review the site plans.

“Thanks, Vivian. I have to admit, it’s a bit easier to stay motivated knowing you’ll be stopping by,” he says, winking at me.

I laugh. “Well, if that’s all it takes to stay on schedule, I’ll be stopping by multiple times a week. I hear the General Contractor’s pretty cute too, added bonus for me.” I clear my throat, shifting to a more serious tone. “I did notice a few things I wanted to go over with you. Can we check the plans in there?” I gesture toward the trailer. It’s cold as balls out here, and the trailer will at least be slightly warmer.

“Sure thing,” Nick says, giving an‘after you’signal with his hand.

Shoving my hands into my coat pockets to keep them warm, we walk to the trailer. This is the only thing I hate about my job—on-site days when it’s so cold that my nipples could cut glass.

I hate the cold.

The trailer has a large table in the middle with a couple of cheap folding chairs surrounding it. The site plans are spread out in the middle of the table, ready for review. Seeing my plans being brought to life always brings a smile to my face.

I remove my hard hat and tousle my hair, trying to regain a bit of volume.

We take a seat next to each other, and I flip through the sheets to find the correct floor plan I want to discuss. “Here in the living room,” I say, pointing. “These windows need to be precisely aligned for the view we’re aiming for. Everything looks good on the plans, but can we double-check the measurements on-site before the frames are finalized?”

“Definitely.” He leans in slightly. “I’ll make sure it’s perfect.”

“Thanks, Nick. I appreciate the attention to detail. It really makes a difference.”

“Anything else you need, just let me know.”

“Actually, I think that covers it for now. Ready for lunch?” We make eye contact. He hesitates for a moment before leaning in and kissing me. It’s a soft, lingering kiss, gentle yet stimulating. His lips are warm, and as he pulls away, he softly tugs at my bottom lip, sending a delicious warmth spreading through me.

A grin spreads from cheek to cheek; I can’t help it. “If this is our appetizer, I think I might need seconds. I’m not quite finished yet.”

With a mischievous grin, he removes his hat and sets it on the table. In one smooth motion, his hand slides to the back of my neck, pulling me closer as his lips meet mine. The kiss is intense yet tender, and I find myself melting into it. His lips move expertly, sending goosebumps down my arms.

Just as I’m getting lost in the moment, a sudden realization hits me. I pull back and let out a breathless laugh. “Oh my God, Nick, we’re making out at work! We can’t do this here,” I say, still grinning.

“You’re right,” he chuckles. “Got carried away. Let’s go to lunch. I just need to speak to some of the crew briefly, and then we can go.”

“I can head out now and get us a table. I’ll meet you there?” I ask.

“That sounds great. I won’t be too far behind you.”

“Well, Nick,” I say, extending my hand for a handshake, a playful smile tugging at my lips, hinting at our earlier indiscretion. “Thank you for all your hard work in keeping me satisfied, both inandout of work.”

He chuckles and takes my hand, shaking it. “Always a pleasure. I aim to please, inandout of work.”

I grab my hard hat and walk to the car, grinning. I immediately turn on my heated seats and crank the heat as I scroll through my playlists for the drive to lunch. On a cold, gray November day like today, I settle on an early 2000s mix, letting Green Day, Matchbox Twenty, and Red Hot Chili Peppers fill the car with nostalgia. It’s a comfort playlist for days like this.

* * * * ** * * * *

Lunch with Nick went great. It was fun and easy, the kind of lunch where you lose track of time in conversation. We talked a lot about work, which made things effortless. We exchanged stories about our current projects and discovered more and more that we have similar interests.

Nick is kind, funny, and genuine. I’m really attracted to him. He has sandy blonde hair that’s shorter and styled in a sleek, sophisticated manner, neatly trimmed on the sides with a bit of length on top. His chiseled features are accentuated by short stubble, adding a touch of ruggedness to his appearance. His green eyes are striking against his complexion. Nick’s overall look exudes a blend of suave charm and refined masculinity. He’s hard-working, dedicated to his job, and I enjoy working with him. There is an ease to our conversations, a natural flow that makes everything feel right.

I knew it was important to bring up the fact that I was a widow before we planned anything more for the future. I didn’t want to go into full detail, as that usually leads to me getting emotional. Nick listened intently as Ibriefly mentioned Ben, explaining that I was a widow and wanted to take things slow, especially regarding sex. He was understanding, nodding and assuring me that he was okay with taking things at my pace.

By the end of the meal, we had agreed to another date this weekend. As I walk back to my car, I feel a mix of excitement and guilt. Nick is wonderful, and I like him a lot; he checks all the boxes. But the thought of Leo lingers at the back of my mind, more persistent than ever, and it ticks me off because I know it’s wasted energy to think of Leo that way.

As I start my forty-minute drive home, I decide to call Sarah. I need her perspective.

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