Page 18 of Broken Chorus

“You should eat whatever you want, at least in moderation. Life’s too long to live it doing shit that doesn’t make you happy.”

“Thin mints might make me happy, but they donotmake me thin, much to my extreme disappointment. If anything, they’re the number two reason I’ve been up on the roof swimming every night this week.”

“And the number one reason is?”

“The need to completely wear myself out since someone isn’t around to do it for me anymore.”

“Aaron…”

“Look, there’s nothing to say, I get that too, so don’t say it. Just let me sit here and enjoy for a moment, okay. Let me at least have a night to pretend that things do last and are worth investing in.”

“Maybe you not investing is a big part of why things fall apart,” Hawk remarked.

Though he said it casually, it was impossible to miss the layers of reproach buried within those words.

“There could be some truth to that.”

“More than justsome,” Hawk said, leveling such an intense stare at him that Aaron was forced to look away.

“Kelly’s new band is not a project I’d be good fit for. It’s time you both accept that.”

Hawk breaking into laughter was the last response Aaron expected. Even when he was done, he didn’t say anything at first, just swirled the liquid in the bottle he held and kept right on staring. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that?”

“It would be nice if you did.”

“Uh-huh, sure, of course it would. Then you wouldn’t have to explain why you wouldn’t meet the guys you proclaimed to be the best that auditioned and why you haven’t taken an elevator ride up to talk to our best friend.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Aaron grumbled, not in the mood to discuss music with Hawk tonight. “This whole conversation is about as pointless as tits on a bull.”

“Someone’s been binging westerns again.”

“Maybe. It’s about the only genre I can stomach watching alone.”

“You wouldn’t be alone if you’d go up two flights and tell Kelly what all this is really about.”

Groaning, Aaron pressed the heels of his palms against his eyelids and leaned back, sinking the tips of his fingers into his hair and taking slow, steady breaths. It was so many things. Too many. A tangled, jumbled mass of issues as snarled as a ball of Christmas lights. “I tried. He doesn’t get it.”

“Are you forgetting how well I know you?” Hawk asked, his voice having taken on an impatient edge. “Or what I’ve watched you do with my niece several times over? You can fool the rest of the world, they only see your packaging. I know your heart, and I know you didn’t reject playing with Declan because he’s in that wheelchair or Micah because he grew up in the Amish faith. I know there is more going on, so if we’ve gotta sit here all-night drinking iced tea and staring at the glob of frosting I keep forgetting to clean off the ceiling, then that’s what we’ll do. Meaning we’ll be two tired, grumpy fucks in the morning when we’ve got to wrangle the kids and make the monkey bread.”

“How’d that get up there, anyway?”

“I’m raising a four-year-old, a six-year-old, and a seven-year-old, how the hell am I supposed to know?” Hawk shot back. “Nice attempt at changing the subject by the way.”

“I see that it failed.”

“Nice as it was, it was doomed from the start.”

“Shoulda figured.”

“Yes, you should have and yet, you attempted it anyway, which tells me you want to have this conversation.”

Growling, Aaron dropped his hands into his lap. “What it all boils down to is that there are just too many changes to make it work. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t gonna work for me. Besides, I’d much rather be here. We’ve never needed excuses to spend our nights together, even if it’s just kicking back watching the Wild demolish the Avalanche a couple times a year. You said yourself I was good with Dani, and you know I can help with Liam and Ella too if you’ll stop using them as an excuse to keep me at arm’s length.”

“We’ve had this conversation, Aaron.”

“No, you talked and I was forced to sit and listen while you said everything you had to say then ended the call because Dani had gotten into something.”

“Which will happen, often, as in every day. It would also be a fourteen-year commitment, seeing as how I refuse to bring anyone into their lives who isn’t willing to be there for the long haul. These kids don’t need to get attached to another person who suddenly drops out of their lives.”

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