Page 93 of Ramsey & Emerson

“What was that, Ramsey?” she finally asked as she stood on the other side of the island.

“That bastard is after you, Emerson,” I answered. “You can say what you want about how he’s not, but you’re not the one that had to listen to him talk about how he wouldn’t be able to stand being away from you all day if you were his.”

“Okay, let’s say that you’re right-”

“Iamright.”

“-so what if he’s attracted to me?” she went on, ignoring me. “How does that have anything to do with us?”

“Are you serious right now?” I bit out. “Another man is interested in mywife, and you think it’s no big deal?”

She let out a humorless laugh. “Are you kidding me, Ramsey?”

“What?”

“From the night that I first met you, females have been throwing themselves at you left and right, but you don’t see me going rabid every time that some woman bats her eyelashes at you,” she said.

“You’re talking about a bunch of women that don’t fucking matter,” I snapped. “Do you honestly think that I ever stop thinking of you long enough to even notice another fucking woman?”

“And do you really believe that it’s possible for me to ever be attracted to another man?” she shot back. “Have you lost your mind?”

“It’s not the same, Emerson,” I hissed. “It’s not the same, and you know it.”

“No, Ramsey,” she hissed back. “I don’t know that. In fact, I don’t know what the hell you’re even talking about.”

“Don’t act like we both don’t know who has the upper hand in this marriage,” I bit out, ready to roar the place down.

Emerson’s head reared back in surprise. “Are you fucking kidding me, Reed?”

My wife only called me Reed when she was genuinely pissed off at me, but instead of heeding her warning, I said, “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Her hands slapped down on top of the granite countertop. “What more do you want from me? It’s been twenty-five years, Ramsey. What more do I have to do to prove to you how much I love you? Jesus Christ, I married you and gave you two sons, even after what you did to me. How can you doubt how I feel about you? After all, no one in their right mind would have ever married you after-”

Whatever Emerson saw on my face, it made her stop. However, it didn’t matter. The words were out there, and she couldn’t take them back. She couldn’t take them back, and now they hung between us like a barbwire fence.

“What?” I said, my voice barely working. “Did you honestly think that I’d forgotten that morning at Windsor?”

“Ramsey-”

“Did you?”

“I think-”

“Because I haven’t, Emerson,” I continued, talking over her. “That morning burns like an iron in the back of my head every second of every minute of every hour of every fucking day. The memory is there when I wakeup each morning, and it’s waiting for me every night when I lay down. Hell, even my dreams are nightmares about that fucking morning.”

Her silver eyes began to shine. “Ramsey-”

“For twenty-five years, you’ve been living your life like some perfect fairytale because I dedicate every breath that I take to making sure that you’re living a life with no regrets,” I went on. “However, while you’re living a life of privileged bliss, I spend my days wondering which day is going to be the day that you wake up and finally realize that you never should have forgiven me for what I did to you. I live my life loving you as fiercely as I do because I know that I shouldn’t have you. I know that I don’t deserve you, Emerson. I don’t just think it,I know it.I know it like I know my own name.” I placed my palms on the counter, matching her stance. “So, yeah, other women don’t matter because you’re theonlything that matters in my life. However, other men? Unlike me, they have the right to try to make you happy, Emerson. I lost that right the second that I chose to believe your cousin’s lies over what we had back then. So, don’t stand there and tell me that I don’t have a reason to be worried or jealous of other men, because if that day ever comes, then that’s when I’ve officially started taking you for granted, and that shit is never going to happen. Do you hear me?Never. It’s never going to happen.”

“I forgave you for that, Ramsey,” she said softly as tears swam in her eyes. “It took a long time, but I finally forgave you for that.”

“But you shouldn’t have!” I roared, finally losing it. “You never should have forgiven me!” I looked up at the ceiling as I ran my hands down my face. “Christ, not only did I humiliate you, but what I did also put your health at risk.” I looked back over at her. “It’s only by the grace of God that you didn’t have to suffer any long-lasting effects of what I did to you. You were the single most important thing to me back then, and I…I hurt you in a way that, you’re right, no one in their right mind would have ever married me after something like that.”

“Ramsey, don’t do this.”

“Do what? Tell the truth?” I bit out. “What? You don’t like hearing the vicious truth about our marriage? Do you want to go back and continue to live in ignorant bliss?”

“I want you to forgive yourself,” she answered honestly.

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