Page 106 of The Dragon Queen

He turned then, brows pulled down into a deep scowl, his eyes just as dark as the night sky.

“Pippin, what’re you doing out here?”

Chapter 51

“Looking for you, obviously,” I said, and that earned me the barest of smiles. Brom shook his head.

“You shouldn’t be out here. Someone might see?—”

“What? A queen…” I still struggled to describe myself as thus, though not necessarily from a sense of modesty. From what I’d seen of the aristocracy, titles weren’t dispensed to the most worthy. You simply inherited them or were married to someone who had them, neither being merit-based processes. “A queen can’t talk with one of her subjects?”

“Subjects?” He emerged from the shadows, the moon’s light caressing the harsh planes of his face. His beard was growing longer, thicker, the longer we spent on the land, giving him a wild appearance. “I guess that fits. Shall I kneel before you, my queen?”

For a moment, I thought we were just playing, his suggestion an amusing, or even salacious one, but that’s not what this was. The pain in his eyes, a spectre that seemed to always be haunting him, was all the more plain in the dim light.

“You never need kneel before me, Brom, you know that.”

“And if I want to?”

There was a dangerous edge to his voice, but he approached meslowly, then dropped down heavily onto one knee at my feet. A rider didn’t wrap his arms around his queen’s legs though, drawing her closer. He held me so tightly, as if that was all that kept me from pulling away. I never would. The source of that tension was revealed when I reached out to touch his hair.

Hesitation.

That was something I hadn’t felt before. We were man and wife. Society expected us to embrace, to touch, to luxuriate in each other’s company.

Then Draven had ripped that away.

I was no longer Pippin Emberly, instead becoming Your Highness, queen-in-waiting. A figure at Draven’s side. Glimmer’s rider. I sucked in a breath, not realising the weight of each one of those roles and titles, not until my fingertips touched Brom’s hair. I’d kissed him, touched him, shared a bed with him every night since, but I knew now that this was different.

“If I want to throw myself down on the ground before you, just to feel your heels grind into my back as you pass by.”

“No, Brom.”

“Something, anything, other than all of this bloody hiding.”

“Brom—”

“You should go.” He went to pull away, but I stopped him with my hand. He could’ve pushed me off, but he stopped where he was, body frozen mid-twist. “I should go.”

That amendment came out in a small voice, one that had me turning him back to face me. I hadn’t known what I was doing when I stood beside him in that chapel, but I did now. The white gold of the ring he had gifted me, one that he’d customised to represent the relationship I shared with each member of the wing. It glinted in the moonlight as I touched his face. Stroking this cheek, then the other, glorying in the soft scruff of his beard as he went still.

“Please don’t,” I breathed.

“I won’t.” He lurched to his feet, looming over me to blot out the moon’s light. “Not without your permission. I will do anything for you, Pippin, you know that. If you had any sense at all, you’d return to the tent. Drink long, drink deeply, in celebration of avictory we hope to claim. Pretend for just a night that it will all be that simple.”

“But you can’t.” I felt like I was reaching out into the abyss when I touched his face now, having to rely on feel. “That’s why you slipped away. Any victory will be ashes in your mouth.”

“Not ashes,” he corrected. “It would be a sweet thing indeed to know that my parents, my cousins, all my family and the families of every citizen of Harlston are safe from the duke. The man is a monster, made from the same mould as his bloody sister, but what happens when we win?”

People were drinking and cheering, imagining that bright future, but Brom was about to wrench mine away.

“Because I know.” I heard his step, saw the shadow move closer. “I’ve been here before, Pippin. You know Draven and I were together before.”

“Somewhat.” I shook my head. “Both of you seem so reluctant to talk about it. First, to protect me, then to keep me from rejecting you, but even now, I feel like I’m piecing things together from snippets, passing mentions.”

“I told myself it was because Draven and I have so much history. I never wanted you to feel inadequate in the face of that. But even when you seemed to accept this bizarre relationship, the words didn’t come. Not because it would hurt you. You’ve made clear that you’ve accepted the situation which is…” He shook his head. “That’s more than I’ve been able to do. I hated him for coming between us. I hated him for complicating something that was supposed to be perfect, pure. I hated him for dragging up the stinking corpse of my history with him, displaying it like a cat might the headless corpse of a mouse, but most of all…”

Brom’s breath was coming faster and faster. It felt like this was a lancing of some sort, and all the poison was pouring out of him.

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