Page 107 of The Dragon Queen

“I’ve always hated and loved Draven in turns, but never more than the day he broke my heart.” Brom was always a calm, solid presence in my life, but right now it was as if he’d transformed into some kind of demon, tempting and terrorising me. “He’ll tell you exactly what you want to hear every single time and you’ll love himbecause of it, but… the time is coming. We will not be allowed to continue as we are.”

“No—”

“A queen cannot be allowed to cavort with four of the Royal Riders, not if she wants to keep her position.”

“No, Draven said?—”

“That’s what he does.” Brom lunged forward, his teeth gleaming. “That’s what’s so beautiful and seductive about him. He has you believing things you’ve got no right to, but then when it comes time to pay the piper? You’re left alone, standing in the general’s office, being told that our ‘friendship’ needed to come to an end. That everyone turned a blind eye when Draven was only the spare, but when Felix died, things changed.”

His fingertips were featherlight as they brushed the line of my jaw.

“I had my orders and I fulfilled them as best I could. Every day was like a stab to the chest, each time I saw him, agony, but after a while, that began to fade. I could ride beside him, be the boyhood friend I was always supposed to be. It was better that way, I could see it. I thought I was on the right track, making the sacrifice the country needed, right up until the moment we landed at your estate.”

A stray beam of moonlight fell across his face, and I knew that look. It was the same intense stare I’d caught the first time Brom saw me. I’d herded pigs over to the paddock, lurking in the shadows to spy on the dragons, only to see him. He’d looked up and the whole world felt like it went still.

“I saw you and felt something I’d never felt before. Draven and I grew together like a pair of ficus growing in the same pot, but you…” His grip on my face tightened. “I saw a lad, I saw a girl, I saw someone beautiful, and I took a step forward, wanting to demand you tell me your name. I saw someone completely outside the court and politics and the awful web of obligation and duty we were all bound up in.”

He was close enough to touch now, my hands locking tightly to stop myself from doing just that.

“I saw someone that would allow me to stop pretending. When the general announced that you were to be married to one of the riders, my heart went still. This was it, the one thing I’d prayed for all my life. Someone to love in the open. Someone I could claim as mine before the world.” He raised my hand, brushing his lips across my ring. “Who would take my name, wear my ring, become mine in a way that none but the gods could tear asunder.”

“Brom…”

I croaked that out, the pain I’d been keeping stuffed down so very thoroughly summoned out. My eyes burned, my head ached, and yet I could not step away from him.

“My partner, my wife?—”

“That’s what I am,” I insisted, but right as I raised my voice, a ragged cheer from the crowds had us both stepping backwards, something Brom acknowledged with a sad smile.

“No, not anymore. We’ll ride to Blackreach and we’ll save the day, that I’m sure of, but Pippin, when we return to the capital everything will start to move very fast. You’ll be forced to sign the divorce papers?—”

“No.”

“You’ll have to or they won’t let you stand in the royal chapel and become queen.”

“So we’ll leave!” I hissed, suddenly angry. Everyone was ready to fight the duke, but who was ready to fight for us? “We can retire to my estate. Draven can…”

That pause was my mistake. Brom noted it, staring into my eyes and then nodding.

“Draven needs a queen, and a queen must be bonded to a queen dragon. He’ll either marry you or be forced to marry whoever the little queen hatchling takes as a bondmate.”

No one! I wanted to shriek. I’d promised that she would not be forced into bondage as they tried to do to Glimmer, but gods, the duke, Beatrice, they might’ve already done so. Glimmer had considerable resources to draw upon to resist their coercion, but the hatchling queen… I sucked in a breath, not seeing myself walking down the aisle, but Beatrice did in my stead. Draven stood at the altar, wooden eyed, but compliant, taking her hand when she got close and saying the words.

“No…”

That was the weak kind of denial a recalcitrant child might make, not a grown woman, and my head hung with the shame of it. Brom was there, tilting it back up.

“I love you.” Why did it feel so good to hear that, even as he ripped my heart from my chest. “I’ll always love you, no matter what happens. There will be no one else for me until the day I die. I will always, always be your husband.”

He was saying goodbye, I realised. What would’ve happened if I hadn’t followed him out here? Would he have taken off on some suicide mission, going out in a blaze of glory?

“I love you,” I said, unashamed now. Openly, I was begging him to put it all back. The optimism, the belief in a bright future.

The lies.

Because none of this would’ve hurt this much if it wasn’t true.

“I love you, Brom.” I gripped his wrists, not letting him pull away. “I never wanted this. I just wanted to be your wife, their lover. I thought we could make it work, that no one would care what we did, not when Draven had a queen that was far more suited to the role. I never intended to get us in this situation.” My fingers wrapped tighter. “I never meant to let him get between us.”

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